This has been a week of mixed results and random fluctuations in my weight. There have certainly been some positives, but lots of frustrations with my weight.

My results.. The scale is an asshole!

Most of the week, I haven’t known what to expect when I stepped on the scale and I spent most of the week working off a big weight fluctuation.

Between Saturday morning and Monday morning of this week, my weight increased 3 pounds. I know that it is biologically impossible to have a “real” weight gain of that much is such a short period of time, so I know it is temporary weight. My body is very susceptible to day-to-day fluctuations based on alcohol consumption (though that has leveled out), water consumption, sodium and the speed of my digestive system. I know that and I know it well. But, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

Though it took me most of the week, I got through the fluctuation, Then, Saturday morning, I reached an all-time low weight. 84.4 total pounds lost and I am sneaking up on the 85 pound mark pretty quickly.

Unfortunately, this morning, I had another weight fluctuation from yesterday’s low weight. I am up just about 3 pounds from yesterday morning – that sucks! But I did eat A LOT of food (though within my calorie target), had 2800mg of sodium and drank over 200 ounces of water. Other than over-consumption of alcohol (which I did NOT do yesterday), I think those are all of my common triggers of fluctuations. But, I am hopeful that I break through this temporary gain MUCH faster than last week’s.

Skipping the gym… often

One thing that might be contributing to the slower movement in my weight is that I skipped the gym for almost the entire week.

It was so cold in the morning, there was lots of snow on the ground all week, I was experiencing several frustrations unrelated to fitness and the snooze button was my choice over working out. I know better than to do this and know that those are just excuses. But, those were the choices that I made and I need to get better at choosing better.

I did get back to the gym on Saturday and had a great workout. I set a new personal milestone that I will talk about in a minute. But, that personal milestone on Saturday meant that I was very sore on Sunday and ended up deciding to make it a day of rest.

1000+ calorie workout

During my Saturday workout, I set a new personal record for calories burnt in a single workout. I burnt 1033 total calories during my workout and felt pretty good with it.

I did 35 minutes of intervals on the treadmill to start the workout and felt pretty exhausted at the end of that. Then, I did 25 minutes of weight training including abs, seated rows, barbell curls, lunges, bench press and squats. Then, I did some planks before a cool down stretching set. But, I still had some energy and saw where I was on calorie burn, so I decided to hop back onto the treadmill for a little more before calling it quits.

What I didn’t count in my 1000+ calories of exercise was the afternoon housework and the planks while watching basketball. In general, I had an exercise-filled day on Saturday that helped put me back on the right track from the low exercise week.

Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, I started feeling a little sore right before bed on Saturday night. Then, when I woke up this morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. My chest, arms and thighs are very sore.

I didn’t recognize you

Over the past couple of months, the changes in my appearance related to my fitness journey have become pretty obvious. I am not just smaller, but I think I look pretty different. And for me to notice it when I see myself every day, means that others are really starting to see it.

These changes in my appearance led to an interesting experience on Thursday at work. I was coming down the stairs and at the bottom of the stairs was one of my friends and a mentee of mine. We have spent a fair amount of time together and she knows me pretty well. But, she told me that she didn’t recognize me at first.

That was a pretty validating and motivating reaction to get. I am not trying to become a different person, but I kind of am trying to become a different person.

Reaction from others

One thing that has been very interesting through this journey is how people react to it. People really aren’t sure what to say or how to react in a way that won’t offend and it leads to some very interesting (yes, I keep using that word because I can’t think of another way to describe it) conversations.

Here are a few examples of the reactions that are pretty common… let me start off by saying that everybody has 100% the best of intentions. Everybody is trying to be supportive and I completely appreciate that and am blessed to have so many people around me who actually care. I just wanted to share the reactions because they have been on my mind. Plus, Liz and I had a long discussion about them yesterday and it was an ah-ha moment.

• “You are just melting away” or “the incredible shrinking man” are ones that I get often. These are fine, they make me feel good and they are the inspiration for the name of my website.
• “You must feel so much better” is one that I keep hearing from people and it is a head-scratcher for me. I didn’t feel bad before and wasn’t aware of any ways I was struggling in my life. So, it isn’t that I feel “better” per se, but I do feel different. I have a bit more energy, I am way more aware and deliberate in my life and I am trying new things that I didn’t know I was missing. Plus, as I sit here on a Sunday morning completely sore from a workout, I am not necessarily feeling “better” that the same Sunday a year ago.
• “Is Tony ok?” Is one of the earlier reactions that I got and it was through somebody else. This colleague of a colleague notices that it looked like I was losing weight and was concerned. This was an awesome moment for a couple of reasons. First, this may have been one of the earliest instances of a random person noticing my results, so that’s fun. Plus, this person who hardly knows me expressed concern in my well-being. That kind of makes me happy for humanity in general.
• “Tony isn’t even overweight anymore, he’s just like a normal guy” is something that I heard recently that made me chuckle a bit. First, it is an uplifting statement because I am, in fact, still overweight and working to lose 16 more pounds on my journey. But, to have somebody say that I am not even overweight is great and the first time in my entire life that I have heard that. But, when I was overweight, was not a normal guy? I know this is not what the person meant, but I really is a symbol of the impact of body size on society’s perceptions of you as a person. Deep, right?
• “You must be so proud” is something that people often say to Liz when talking about my weight loss. This is a very interesting sentiment and I am not sure what it really means. Liz and I have been best friends for over 20 years and my size and her size have never been a dimension of our relationship. Are people saying she is proud because I have set a goal and worked my ass off to try to meet that goal, so it is pride in my determination? Or is it pride that you finally have a smaller, right-sized man? I am not offended and I don’t think she is either, but it is a head-scratcher.
• “You better watch out Liz if he keeps going” is one that Liz hears a lot and it is a bit more offensive (though I know that is not the intent). Though I am sure this is an innocent statement to humorously show support, there are several possible disturbing meanings of this. First, it could be interpreted as “wow, Tony is almost thin enough that people will finally find him attractive and you are going to need to be jealous Liz.” If that is the meaning, this compliment kind of sucks. If it means that “Tony is going to be attractive and choose a different mate”, the compliment really sucks even more. Or, if you put those together, it could mean “Tony is going to be attractive and women are going to start throwing themselves at him and he is going to cheat on you” which is the worst possible meaning. While the rockstar feeling sounds fun on the surface, my size has nothing to do with my integrity.
•  Finally, there are some people, people in our family, who had no idea that anything was different about me at Christmas. I had lost 75 pounds in just over 6 months, I had lost about 10 inches off my waist and there are people who didn’t notice. This is a great moment in grounding me in realism about my journey.

As I said in the beginning, none of these statements are really offensive or hurtful in the slightest. Everybody has the best of intentions and wants to be supportive and complimentary and I could not be more appreciative. But, I am always fascinated about how people speak to and interact with one another and this has been a great case study.

Check back next week for more!

Last week’s stats (1/8 – 1/14):
Distance walked/run: 24.9 miles
Total calories burnt: 24,547
Total calories consumed: 10,961
Weight change: 1.7 pounds lost