Are you choosing to live a happy, fulfilled life?
That’s right, studies have proven that ninety percent of the factors that make the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life are factors within your control. One life hack proven to help unlock your best life is setting, pursuing, and achieving goals.
But you don’t have to take my word for it; many other people are proving this point every single day. They are setting goals, doing the work and building the life of their dreams.
Don’t Take My Word For It, a new Operation Melt blog series, shares how other people – people just like you – are choosing to achieve happiness through their goals.
Yes, you can choose a happy life, but don’t take my word for it!
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
Cat Or Dog? A Surprise Relationship Lesson From Furry Friends.
Surprise Life Coach explores the goal success strategies, tips and mindsets found in the most unlikely places. From television shows to movies to music to books and more, life coaches are all around us, hidden in the most unexpected places. We simply need to pay attention, and we can reap the rewards from this free coaching.
In this week’s Surprise Life Coach, I will tell you about a recent experience that highlights a key difference between cats and dogs and the lesson it taught me about people.
I recently walked into The Cakehound in German Village to say hi to my friend Teresa (learn about her story in this Interview with a Goal-Crusher). As usual, Teresa had brought her dog Bogart to work with her. Also, as usual, Bogart was excited to see me. He stood up, literally smiled at me and was happy as I gave him some love.
Bogart barely knows me, I don’t give him food or meet any of his needs, and he is still excited whenever he sees me.
I walked back home and wanted to give my cats some of the same love and attention. I sat in my chair and called them over to me. They looked in my direction, making clear that they heard me, and then they turned back away and continued staring out the window, ignoring my offer of love.
It wasn’t until later, when I opened a bag of Doritos to have some chips, that my cats were interested in me. Then, as I sat at my desk and tried to work, they each came to me and hopped onto my lap, demanding love.
My cats, who rely on me for their existence, only want love on their terms or when there may be something in it for them.
Are you a cat or a dog?
As fun as this story and cute animal pictures are, I am sharing it because it illustrates a choice we have in the kind of friend we want to be to others. We can be a cat, or we can be a dog.
Dog friends love their people unconditionally just because they are a friend. Do you almost always answer the phone when your friend calls? Do you call your friend just to check in? Are you excited to share good news with your friend and hear theirs too? Do you know when your friend is sad and try to be there to comfort them? Do you get so excited to see your friend that you start slobbering and accidentally pee on their floor… oops, too far?
These are all signs that you might be offering unconditional dog-like friendship.
On the other hand, you might be a cat friend. Do you only reach out when you need something or when it is convenient? Do you often ignore calls or messages from your friend? Do you sometimes go weeks without the slightest interaction? Are you currently unaware if your friend is happy or sad or excited? Did you recently draw blood by trying to climb your friend’s pant leg… oops, too far again?
These are signs that the friendship you are offering is more cat-like; you have love for your friend but only show it on your terms.
Who do you want to be?
We each get to choose which type of friend we are. Plus, it isn’t uncommon to have some friendships where you’re a dog and others where you’re a cat. Do you know which you are with each of your friends? Is it the one you want to be?
Friendship is important, and most of us value having close friends. However, like many things in life (see Discipline Not Default), close friendships don’t happen by accident. Establishing and maintaining strong relationships requires an investment of time, energy, emotional openness and empathy.
There’s no right or wrong way to be a friend and no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. Maybe you aren’t ready to have dog-like relationships with every one of your friends; that’s completely understandable. It is also possible that some of your friends aren’t looking for that kind of relationship with you. Just like pet owners, there are dog people, cat people and even lizard people… but we won’t do a deep dive into lizard people today.
My hope is that this surprise life lesson from dogs and cats triggers us each to pay closer attention to the type of friend we are being. Does your friendship style match the person you want to be? Is it meeting the needs of your friend? If so, that’s fantastic. If not, you can always make a change.
Finally, if you aren’t getting the reciprocation you need from a friend, speak up and let them know. They probably aren’t aware of how their behavior is impacting you. As an Enneagram 3/6/9 combo, I know that most of my friends aren’t aware of how certain friendship behaviors tend to trigger my inner self-critic.
So… who’s a good friend? Here friendy friendy… oh no, it’s a lizard person!
Do you need help figuring out how to live more in alignment with your values? Coaching may benefit you, and I would be honored to work with you.
Click here to learn more about my coaching services.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
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