In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals.
Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? I'll never forget the look on the cashiers face, when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her how long does it take for the birds to grow once I plant them.
3 Unique Strategies To Overcome Body Image Struggles
Coach Tony: After you finished your weight loss, did you experience any struggles with body image or body positivity? How would you suggest that someone get past those struggles?
Thanks for this question; it is something I think about and have studied a lot. I am excited to share my perspective on this crucial and emotional question.
Before I share my thoughts on this topic, I want to start with an important disclaimer. The perspective I am sharing in this post is directed at more moderate, annoying struggles. If your struggles with body image are impacting your ability to live your daily life, you could be experiencing body dysmorphia or other serious mental health conditions. Please seek qualified professional support to help you through these challenges. You don’t have to struggle in silence!
The quick answer to this question is, yes, I have struggled a bit with my body image both during and after my weight loss.
My Body Image Journey
As many of you may know by now, I was significantly overweight for my entire life and was bullied about it for years as a child/teen. By the time I was an adult, I had assumed my obesity would always be with me and had accepted it as who I was.
Then everything changed. At age 40, I decided to change my life and lost over 100 pounds in under a year. My body image during my weight loss was complicated, to say the least. As I explained in my book, weight loss is as much a mental struggle as a physical one. Here’s a quote from my Operation Melt book that highlights my complicated relationship with my body image:
In the few short years since making that decision, I have never reached a new “normal” in my body, which absolutely impacts my body image. There are days I can look in the mirror ten times and believe I see ten completely different versions of my body.
I can tell you firsthand that body image is a tricky concept, and seeing a different you each time you look in the mirror gets annoying.
So, What’s The Solution?
As I became more aware of my complicated relationship with my body image, I realized I needed to take proactive steps to help manage the issue. In addition to leveraging my team of experts (especially my personal trainer), I did what anyone does when looking for tools to care for their physical/mental health – I turned to Google. That’s where I found plenty of proven tips and experimented with many of them:
- Affirmations
- Stop weighing / data tracking
- Gratitude
- Eliminating comparisons
- Adjust social media consumption
The list goes on, and all of them are helpful. But, like any other goal, I needed to build a plan that worked for me. We are all wired differently.
For the balance of today’s post, I will share three unique strategies that have worked well for me and may also be helpful to you. These strategies are “unique” because they are above and beyond the items on most online lists.
Heads-up: The last one may take a little courage!
Pay Attention
With any struggle in life, awareness is the first step to problem-solving. Body image challenges are no different – you need to know what’s happening and your triggers to manage them.
How are you feeling about your body right now? Do you feel generally happy and content right now, or are you struggling with body image today? Maybe it is just a meh day. If you are in touch with how you are feeling, you will be more likely to be able to get to the root of what’s driving today’s feelings.
But, knowing how you feel “today” may not be granular enough… your feelings will often change throughout the day.
I had an experience where I looked in the mirror and was feeling, at best, meh about myself at the start of the day. I put on my running clothes and went for a good run. While completing my cool-down walk, I saw my reflection in a store window. When I saw myself, I felt really good about my body. This feeling came less than an hour after not feeling at all positive.
In one hour, my perspective on my body changed significantly, and the only difference was completing a run… my body didn’t change; my brain did. By paying attention to how my perception of my body changed throughout the day, I was able to help identify some underlying triggers that I can use to help myself on poor body image days.
Exercise: Mirror Moments
Looking for an easy way to get started… I got ya!
Here’s a simple exercise to help get you more in touch with your view of your body.
- Mirror Moment Appointments: Set an appointment with yourself to spend five minutes alone in front of your mirror three times per day. This works best if you do it first thing in the morning, midday, and evening before bed. Whenever you choose, just be consistent and disciplined about keeping these dates with yourself.
- Body Scan: Scan your full body in the mirror and ask yourself, “how do I feel about my body right now?” Pay close attention to what your brain tells you and how you feel.
- Body Image Journal: After inspecting your body and getting in touch with your feelings, record how you feel in a “body journal.” Keep it simple and use smileys – happy face, sad face or straight face – to indicate how you feel. Add any notes of factors driving your assessment, whether or not those underlying items are physical, emotional or situational factors in your life. Note: You don’t have to wait for your mirror moments to capture your thoughts in your body image journal; if you encounter an unexpected positive or negative body image experience during your day, go ahead and add a note to your journal.
- Weekly Review: At the end of each week, review your Body Image Journal and look for any trends… they may jump right out at you. You can use these trends to proactively manage your triggers of both positive and negative body image days.
Remember that you have powerful Mind Control Powers and are in charge of your brain. The first step to controlling that magnificent brain of yours is to know what is going on inside it and why. Completing mirror moments and tracking a body image journal will help unlock these powers.
I’ll make the mirror moments exercise even easier for you. You can download my free, super-simple Body Image Journal template to track your mirror moments (visit the Operation Melt Resources section or click the Download Now button below).
Download Now
Goals… But, Other Goals
The second strategy to help with your body image involves setting some physical goals for yourself… but there’s a catch.
To boost your body image, you need goals that aren’t focused on your weight, size or other physical characteristics. Instead, set a few action or performance-related goals directly within your control.
- Maybe you want to start walking for thirty minutes per day.
- Do you want to train for a marathon?
- Ready to start lifting weights?
- What else do you want to do that requires you to train and use your body.
These goals allow your brain to focus on what your body does for you instead of how it looks or how much you weigh. Pursuing and accomplishing body performance goals will help you appreciate and respect your body rather than focusing on things you cannot directly control and that might contribute to poor body image.
What goal are you going to refocus your energy on?
Exposure
Imagine, if you will, this hypothetical situation. You have a coworker named Chris, who you have been acquainted with, from a distance, for many years. Over the years, you have witnessed Chris go through many ups and downs and changes from afar. While you aren’t close to Chris, they have somehow rubbed you the wrong way, and you aren’t their biggest fan.
One day, you are told that you must go on a business trip to a conference, and Chris is traveling with you. The two of you carpool to the airport and sit next to each other on the plane. After the flight, you share a car to the same hotel with adjacent rooms. For the next week, you and Chris eat breakfast together each morning before carpooling to the conference. Each evening, you carpool back to the hotel, have drinks and enjoy the local restaurants together for dinner.
As you and Chris spend time together and get to know one another, you learn that you have mutual interests, similar histories and similar goals. The semi-stranger you didn’t care for on the way to the conference is now a friend you enjoy spending time with, in and out of the office.
What was the secret to changing your dislike into appreciation and friendship?
Exposure!
Surprise! This story is more than hypothetical; many live it out each day. However, in our non-hypothetical story, Chris isn’t a person; Chris is our body.
While we know our bodies, our familiarity is often experienced only at a distance. It’s no wonder that many of us don’t have a positive relationship with our bodies. This is where the third and slightly more controversial body positivity strategy comes into play.
If you want to improve your body positivity, it’s time to spend more time naked!
Yes, naked. That’s not a metaphor. It literally means spending time alone, engaging in your regular routines while in the buff.
Getting Naked
When was the last time you spent any time with yourself without clothes that wasn’t just a means to an end (e.g., showering, changing clothes, etc.)? It is probably pretty rare, right?
Studies have proven that increasing your naked time has many physical and mental health benefits:
- Improves sleep
- Improves your skin
- Lowers risk of heart attack
- Improves self-esteem
The list of benefits goes on and on, and one of the key benefits is improved body positivity. Spending non-sexualized time in the buff helps remove the stigma and shame we have developed regarding our naked bodies.
Our bodies aren’t gross, dirty things meant to be hidden. They are the beautiful skin in which we live and should be appreciated and celebrated. By removing the clothes we use to hide our bodies, we gain exposure and can become good friends, just like the story of Chris.
There is no magic amount of time or technique for increasing your exposure to you. Just find time each day to spend au natural. For instance, maybe sleep in the buff and complete your normal morning routine before donning clothes for the day. If you work from home, perhaps your off-camera time is the perfect opportunity to break free from your clothes. I would just take extra caution when cooking or spending time in the sun … safety first!
Make sure to start small, not with some grand gesture, and work little bits of nudity into your daily routine. You may notice a near-immediate uptick in your body image journal.
Pro tip: One of the best times for exposure is during your mirror moments. Rather than standing in front of your mirror covered in clothing, do it naked instead. This is an ideal upgrade to your body scan!
I know this isn’t what you expected to hear in today’s blog, but it is a proven strategy. It is a strategy I have adopted for myself, and without oversharing, I spend at least a couple hours each day in my birthday suit. It really works!
I’ll round out the exposure topic with an even more daring suggestion, one I haven’t tried for myself… yet!
According to a study published in the Journal of Happiness (and others), the benefit of spending more time naked isn’t limited to solo time. Researchers found that time spent in the nude with friends (or strangers) in a non-intimate setting contributes significantly to a more positive body image.
Seeing others in the buff and being seen without the protection of clothes (which seek to make us fit into someone else’s view of “normal”) leads to an increased appreciation for diverse body types. It is a reminder that your “problem areas” aren’t really problems at all; they are part of what makes you unique.
The benefits of non-solo nudity have led to an explosion of non-clothed activities such as nude yoga and other naturist-focused activities and venues such as clothing-optional beaches. Are you ready for a naked yoga class? I’m not sure if I’m quite there yet.
I know this was a slightly longer Ask Coach Tony post, but this is a critical topic to address. Body image issues and low body confidence take a toll on mental health. This is an unnecessary stressor in your life, and you have options to take control of your body image. By leveraging these three strategies (or the others you can find in other online lists), you can hop in the driver’s seat and take a more proactive role in your body positivity.
Do you need a non-judgmental partner to help you implement these strategies in your life? Do you want to help wrestle back control of your life and mental health from the grips of the dreaded autopilot? I am a certified Master Life Coach and a Health coach, and I can help you build a life of happiness and satisfaction one goal at a time.
I believe in you and want to help YOU believe in you… Let’s talk!
Please visit the Operation Melt coaching page and submit a non-obligation inquiry form.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
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