Are you choosing to live a happy, fulfilled life?
That’s right, studies have proven that ninety percent of the factors that make the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life are factors within your control. One life hack proven to help unlock your best life is setting, pursuing, and achieving goals.
But you don’t have to take my word for it; many other people are proving this point every single day. They are setting goals, doing the work and building the life of their dreams.
Don’t Take My Word For It, an Operation Melt blog series, shares how other people – people just like you – are choosing to achieve happiness through their goals.
Yes, you can choose a happy life, but don’t take my word for it!
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? A ship carrying blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint… 50 sailors were marooned.
Better Together: The Friend In The Hole
Surprise Life Coach explores the goal success strategies, tips and mindsets found in the most unlikely places. From television shows to movies to music to books and more, life coaches are all around us, hidden in the most unexpected places. We simply need to pay attention, and we can reap the rewards from this free coaching.
Have you watched the classic television series The West Wing?
It is one of my all-time favorite series. It always leaves me feeling uplifted and optimistic… about the government of all things. But this isn’t a post about the government or politics. One of the things I love about The West Wing is the plethora of meaningful character interactions and sub-plots that illustrate significant aspects of personal growth, development and mental health.
Today’s post is about a special moment between two characters in the series that highlights an essential strategy for navigating the curveballs that life throws you.
Noel
While this post isn’t a review of The West Wing, I need to set the stage for the surprise life coach moment, so please hang with me here.
The Christmas episode in 2000 was called Noel … one of the best episodes in the series. In Noel, the white house is recovering from a tragic event when a gunman opened fire on the President and his staff. The gunman was a white supremacist and was upset that the President’s daughter was dating his personal aide, a young African-American man named Charlie.
As the shots rang out, several people were struck and injured. Two notable casualties from this attack were the President and his deputy chief of staff, Josh Lyman. The President’s injuries were semi-minor as a bullet passed through his body without serious harm. On the other hand, Josh Lyman was critically injured, almost died, and required a long surgery and lengthy recovery.
Josh’s experience resulted in him developing post-traumatic stress disorder. Despite his best efforts to hide his escalating PTSD, it became clear to Josh’s coworkers that something wasn’t right. This escalation climaxed when Josh raised his voice to the President in the Oval Office (a big no-no) in a semi-nonsensical rant. We later learn that this night concluded with Josh punching through a plate glass window in his apartment – an event he had no recollection of happening.
After Josh’s Oval Office eruption, his boss, White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry, immediately sat him down in his office for a conversation. Leo, a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, told Josh that he wants (more like demands) Josh to see a professional therapist about what just happened. He told Josh, “I’m not sure you were conscious while you were saying it.”
The Friend in the Hole
After a gut-wrenching marathon session with the therapist, Josh becomes aware of the reality of his PTSD, his trigger and what actually happened that injured his hand. When Josh finally walked out of his session, he found Leo sitting and waiting for him. Josh relayed his breakthrough and that he now realizes he punched out the window in his apartment.
This is when Leo shares a story I think about and reference a lot. I will link/embed the video here if you want to watch it, but I will share the transcription below.
This guy’s walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can’t get out.
A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, “Hey you, can you help me out?” The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up “Father, I’m down in this hole, can you help me out?” The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
Then a friend walks by. “Hey Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?” And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, “Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.” The friend says, “Yeah, but I’ve been down here before, and I know the way out.”
Don’t Go It Alone
The point of Leo’s parable was that Josh didn’t have to defeat his mental struggle by himself. Through his own challenges, Leo knew how to help Josh navigate this difficult time. As Josh’s friend, not just a boss, he was ready to help Josh escape the hole.
In other words, Leo told Josh, “don’t go it alone.”
There’s a reason that one of my six steps to project managing your life includes this same step.
Time and again, I have shared examples that demonstrate the importance of not pursuing your goals alone. When you have friends, accountability partners and a team of experts by your side, they become a much-needed gust of wind in your sails that can propel you forward. This is why the classic proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
I’ve been down here before…
I have countless personal examples of how my team of experts and accountability partners helped get me unstuck on my journey to my goals. Here are just a few examples:
- My high school JROTC instructor helped me learn to pursue goals and push myself to do more… I didn’t have to stay on the same path I was on.
- The high school counselor helped me choose the right college, which led to me coming out of my shell, getting experience in the IT industry (in the 90s!) and building a solid career.
- When I first became a leader of people, my boss and team members cared enough to help me overcome self-limiting behaviors, become a good leader and ultimately publish a leadership book.
- I had countless partners in my journey to lose over one hundred pounds and to become a runner and amateur athlete.
- Without my trainer, I would still be wandering aimlessly through the gym with no idea how to create a workout – not to mention the two-inch growth in my biceps!
- Without critical friends and coaches, I don’t know how I would have corrected some unhealthy dieting habits and body image struggles (see 3 Unique Strategies To Overcome Body Image Struggles).
The importance of my team of experts has helped me get where I am today and is part of why I am a coach today. A unique asset/strength I bring to my coaching is that I have been in the hole before and know the way out. Not only do I provide a proven process to my clients, but I also have personal experiences that give me a combination of empathy and sharable success strategies.
Do you need a little help finding your way out of a hole? Let’s work together, and I can help show you the way. I am a certified Master Life Coach and would be honored to work with you.
Click here to learn more about my coaching services.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
Breathe new life into your goals
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