In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals.
Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.
Are you ready for a dad joke?
I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. My dad joke may be groan-worthy, but it's worth every penny you paid for it, right?
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
Unexpected Transformation Secret: Time To Burn It Down
Do you really know what transformation means?
My Operation Melt blog is focused on goal success techniques, stories and concepts. This means I also talk a lot about transformation, but I haven’t spent much time talking about how transformation differs from other types of change in our lives.
Today, I will drill into the concept of transformation and share an exercise that can help make your transformation successful, even if it is just inside your mind.
What is transformation?
When thinking of what it means to transform our lives, I find it helpful to start with the dictionary definition.
How does this apply to transforming our lives? I look at the three pieces of the first definition: changing composition, outward appearance and character or condition. These attributes imply something more significant than making a minor tweak to our environment, habits or other circumstances. Transformation ain’t your average change!
I prefer an alternative definition of transformation from my days working in a transformation team in corporate America.
Transformation: to change completely.
The best example of transformation is found in nature. A caterpillar transforms (changing its composition, appearance and character) into a butterfly. After this transformation, the caterpillar has changed completely.
Most importantly, a successful transformation means that you don’t go back. If you go back, you haven’t changed completely…. you haven’t transformed. A butterfly will never return to being a caterpillar.
This concept of not going back is the basis of the following exercise.
Burn It Down
Here’s a secret I have discovered about transformation, you don’t always know when you are done. There’s not always a clear finish line, and you may feel stuck in the “messy middle” between the old and new you. Your brain may not know when you have succeeded.
To get yourself out of the “messy middle” phase, you may need to give your brain a clear signal that you have reached the finish line. Your brain needs to know that you have transformed. You need a way of letting go of the “old you” that wasn’t who you wanted to be.
It’s time to burn it down… and I do mean with fire.
A burning ritual is a tool rooted in centuries of tradition and customs used to symbolically let go of something. The burning ritual is performed by tossing the things that no longer serve you into a fire. In most cases, you will use a representation of those things, not the things themselves, to trigger your brain to bring closure to them.
Note: before going any further with the description of this ritual, I want to stress that you must do this safely. We will be using a fire, and we all know this can present dangers and is forbidden in certain excessively dry areas. Please don’t hurt yourself, others or the planet with this ritual.
Step 1: Find the Old You
The first step to completing a burning ritual is to find the things that need to be burnt.
On a piece of paper, write down the attributes of the “old you” that you have transformed and want to let go. Or, if you already have it written down (e.g., the original problem statement for coaching, a journal entry, an email to a friend etc.), get it and be ready to burn it.
Here is a personal example, the old me from 2017 before I started my transformation.
Pro Tip: This ritual works for more than just complete personal transformations. It is an effective tool to mark other changes, including job changes, ending relationships and letting go of negative thoughts. Burning it down is only limited by your imagination.
Step 2: Capture the New You
After you have found the “old you” or things you want to burn, I find it helpful to see what will replace what you burn. Like the previous step, write down the “new you” or attributes that will remain after you bring closure to the old.
This step helps you acknowledge your progress and makes the “new you” feel more real. Remember, this is about sending messages to your brain by letting go of what is not serving you and celebrating what replaces it.
Step 3: Burn It Down
Safely start a fire in a fire bowl, fireplace, grill or other location where a fire can live. You can even use a candle if you prefer; just have someplace ready to let paper burn once it is on fire. I always recommend doing this outdoors.
Sit comfortably around the fire, stare into the flames and reflect on the old and new versions of yourself. What parts of the change are you most proud of? What parts of the old you are you most glad to see go?
Drop the “old you” paper into the fire and watch it burn. Imagine the old you, or the unwanted thoughts, rising up into the smoke and disappearing into the air.
As the old you disappears, allow yourself to feel or experience any emotions that rise inside you.
Read your “new you” paper again, smile and be proud of yourself. You have completed a significant accomplishment.
The old you is gone, and you’ll never go back to being a caterpillar. It’s time to fly like a butterfly.
Not ready to burn it down yet? Do you need help getting started with your transformation? As a coach, I would happily be your partner to help you set and accomplish the goals that will help you transform. I want to help you be ready to burn it down.
I believe in you; let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
Breathe new life into your goals
Download my free ebook to learn how to create goals that actually work and get the jump-start you need in life!
