Operation Melt: The Terrible Gift

Thank you for reading this week’s Operation Melt update.

Operation Melt started as a blog to share my personal transformation and weight loss story. After achieving success with that goal, Operation Melt has evolved into a platform to help inspire, motivate and equip people to achieve their own personal and professional goals so they can live their best lives.

I am trying to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.

Amuse Bouche

My amuse bouche for you today is a light “dad joke” to entertain your mind before we get down to business.

What Did the King say When the Queen Gifted him a Fool for his Birthday?

“I’ve no use for one of these… But it was a nice jester”

Like any other amuse bouche, you may have hated it, but it was worth every penny that you paid for it, right?

Goal Success by Choice

We can choose to be successful with our goals if we make the right daily choices, build the right habits and behaviors and adopt the right mindsets. Goal Success by Choice shares lessons about the choices we can make that can either move us closer to our goals or hold us back. I hope this post helps you get a little closer to crushing your goals.

The Terrible Gift

Do you know somebody who gives terrible gifts?

I am not just talking about Dave at work that never puts any thought into gifts. That five-dollar gift card to the coffee shop can be super helpful. I am talking about truly terrible gifts. For example, that time that your crazy, out-of-state aunt Iris gave you that fluffy polka dot sweater that she found on the one-dollar clearance rack for Christmas. Don’t even get me started on the handmade, #NailedIt-worthy, projects that I have received in the past.

What do you do when you receive a gift like this?

You start by being appreciative. This is a gift, and it is the thought that counts, right? Then what? Do you stick it in a closet, never to be seen again? Do you donate it to the thrift store to be purchased by somebody else as a gift to allow the circle of life to continue? Do you dispose of it?

When you receive a terrible gift, do you wear it every day and take it everywhere you go? Of course not!

Then why do this when given the gift of feedback that turns out to be bad?

Just like when you received that sweater from aunt Iris, it is important to start by being appreciative of the feedback. I am not being facetious when I call feedback, even terrible feedback, a “gift.” All feedback is a gift because apathy and silence are way easier. Just receiving feedback means that somebody cares enough about you to give it. That’s worthy of appreciation, right?

Being appreciative of the gift doesn’t mean that you have to carry the feedback around with you every day.

Reflect on the feedback you have received and attempt to determine what led the person to this conclusion. Every piece of feedback is based on perception and perception is the reality for that person. The more you can understand the context and why that was their perception, the more informed of a judgment you can make about the feedback.

Once you understand the feedback, you have to make a decision. Do you care?

Really, is the feedback that you received from this person something that matters to you? Not every piece of feedback is something that you need to prioritize and act on in your life. Sometimes feedback is just wrong and sometimes it just doesn’t matter. This is the time to suppress those people-pleaser tendencies.

If you decide that the feedback is something important to you, it is no longer a terrible gift, it is now a valuable one. Take action and make changes to address that feedback. There are lots of ways to do this, but I would suggest treating it like any other goal project:

Set a SMART goal
Build a plan that works for you
Measure progress every day
Expect and plan ahead for problems
Don’t go it alone
Enjoy the journey

If you decide that the feedback isn’t something that you want to prioritize and act on, the process is even easier. Treat it like that awful polka dot sweater. Get rid of it or put it in the back of the closet never to be seen again.

Let it go! Stop thinking about the feedback. Don’t keep it in the back of your mind letting it drive you crazy for months. Remember that it is only your opinion that defines your happiness. You don’t have to wear that polka dot sweater if it doesn’t make you happy.

One last thought about bad feedback, don’t “regift” it. Don’t get angry that you received feedback that you didn’t want and lash out at the person who gave it to you. Resist the urge to follow up with an “oh yeah, well let me give you some feedback” zinger. It is the thought that counts and feedback is a gift.

What fluffy polka dot sweater are you still carrying around that you could get rid of to make yourself happier?

Suggested Resources

Here are some other resources related to today’s post that you might want to read:

Did You Like What You Read?

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