Thank you for reading this Operation Melt blog update.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip you to achieve your big goals.
Will you join me in building a world where goals never die of loneliness?
Amuse Bouche
My amuse bouche for you today is a light “dad joke” to entertain your mind before we get down to business. Like any other amuse bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny that you paid for it, right?
That’s it! I’m writing an open letter to the company that sold me envelopes with poor quality glue.
Goal Success by Choice
Do you have dreams that you are trying to make come true? Do you have a goal that you are trying to crush? Success doesn’t happen by chance. You don’t have to get lucky or win the lottery to live the life of your dreams.
You just have to choose to be successful. If you make the right daily choices, adopt good habits and behaviors, and approach life with the right mindset, you can make your dreams come true.
Goal Success by Choice helps you make the choices that will move you closer to your goals and keep you from holding yourself back.
I hope this post helps you get a little closer to crushing your goals.
Choices for a Successful New Year
There are only about four weeks left in this year; 2022 is coming up fast!
With the rapidly approaching new year, you are probably starting to think about your goals for next year. Note that I said goals and not “New Years Resolutions.” As you probably know, and as I talked about in Happy New Year!?, I think the traditional New Years Resolutions don’t work. It is unlikely that January first will result in a new year and new you unless you set goals instead of resolutions.
While setting goals is a great start, that alone will not yield success. Succeeding with your goals in the new year requires choosing to be successful. Choosing effective habits is an excellent first step.
I am wrapping up 2021 by sharing five simple choices you can make that will help you succeed with your goals in 2022.
By setting goals and making good choices, you can join my fight against goals dying of loneliness.
Talk To Yourself
A man speaking sense to himself is no madder than a man speaking nonsense not to himself.
Tom Stoppard
You have defined your SMART goal, and you have made it measurable so you can track progress every day, as I explained in Choices For a Successful New Year – Part 1. But, are you sure that your goal is really attainable, the A in SMART?
When we consider whether a goal is attainable, we usually think about it scientifically. We want to achieve x outcome by y time, and we evaluate whether that can practically be done. For example, losing twenty pounds in two weeks isn’t an attainable goal because it is not physiologically possible. Whereas losing twenty pounds in one year is a more attainable and safer goal.
Attainable goals require more than the scientific, practical evaluations of attainability. For a goal to be attainable, you have to believe that you can do it. Goals fail inside your brain before they ever fail in reality. This is one of the leading causes of goals dying of loneliness. If you don’t believe you will achieve your goal, you probably won’t!
Building and maintaining confidence in your ability to achieve your goal means choosing to talk to yourself.
Talk to Myself, I’m Not Crazy!
You may be thinking that you would never talk to yourself and that this sounds crazy. But, you are probably already talking to yourself about your goals today. You just aren’t saying positive things.
In Silencing The Haters, I explained that we each have an inner critic that continually assaults us with negative self-talk. Like other sources of perpetual negativity (see Consume With Care), this self-talk is dangerous and can be fatal to our goals. We tell ourselves things that undermine our confidence and turn even the most practical goal into no longer attainable. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend.
You end up failing before you even give your goal your best try.
Change the Conversation
Fortunately, we have Mind Control Powers, and we can make a choice to drown out these negative voices when talking to ourselves. Because negative self-talk is our default behavior, we can combat it with disciplined behaviors (see Discipline Not Default). This means that some deliberate work will be required.
When talking to yourself, you will need to change the conversation to a more supportive one if you want your goal to remain attainable.
Changing the conversation starts when you are just thinking about setting your goal. You will need a bit of help from your new best friend.
Just for a minute, imagine talking to your best friend. Your best friend tells you that they are considering pursuing the same goal that you are considering. What would you say to that person? How would you be supportive and encouraging?
- Hey, that’s a great idea!
- I have confidence that you will do it!
- I believe in you!
Those are very positive and encouraging messages to say to your best friend. Now, say those same things to yourself. Talk to yourself like a friend, and you will build the confidence you need to make your goal attainable. You are the only person who can give you the permission you need to be successful (see You Don’t Need Permission). So, give yourself permission to succeed and to hell with everyone else’s opinion! That includes your inner critic!
Don’t Stop There
Talking to yourself will help you get started with your goal, and this is an excellent first step. As Mark Twain said, “the secret of getting ahead is getting started,” but that’s just the beginning. The conversation needs to continue.
Pursuing your goals is always a rollercoaster ride (see Transformation Rollercoaster). Your path will take twists and turns and be full of wins and losses. You may even get a visit from our old friend, imposter syndrome, who will tell you that you aren’t good enough (see Good Enough, Not an Imposter). Your confidence in your ability to reach your goal may be shaken.
It is time for another conversation with your new best friend.
When you encounter a setback, and the negative self-talk starts getting louder in your brain, picture yourself talking to your best friend again. What would you tell your best friend if she hits the same obstacle you face?
- You have already come so far, I know you will figure this out.
- I have confidence in you.
- Look at all of the other, even bigger obstacles you have already overcome.
- You got this; you’re a badass!
Again, say these supportive things to yourself. This self-talk will help keep your confidence high and fuel the creative problem-solving you need to carry you forward.
Celebrate With Your Friend
As I said, your journey will be filled with both wins and losses. When you have a win, it is just as important to have a conversation with yourself.
What would you say to your best friend when she has a big victory? How would you celebrate together?
- Great work, I knew you could do it!
- That is amazing, look how far you’ve come!
- I am proud of you!
Guess who needs to hear these things? You! It is ok to celebrate. It doesn’t mean you are bragging or are less humble. You achieved something important, so celebrate it before immediately moving on to the next step.
So What?
Just 4 more weeks until the new year, which means it is time for part 2 of my review of the 5 choices you can make to achieve your 2022 goals. Pursuing big goals isn’t easy and starting off with a SMART goal is the first step. But, to be SMART, your goal must be attainable. This is a bigger challenge than you may think. For your goal to be truly attainable, you will need to talk to yourself.
Do you need a partner to help you get the conversation started with your new best friend? Let me help.
Click Here to learn more about my Operation Melt coaching services.
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