Personal transformation requires permanent change. Like all change, transformational change is fragile and needs careful management. But, beware: for every visible transformation that somebody goes through, there is another, more difficult, transformation that is entirely invisible.
Read more about managing this invisible, goal-killing change in this week’s Goal Success by Choice.
Amuse Bouche
Before we get to today’s post, I offer you this light “amuse-bouche” to entertain your mind before we get down to business. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate my “dad joke,” but it is worth every penny that you paid for it, right?
A duck was about the cross a road. Just then, a chicken stopped him and said, “don’t do it man … you will never hear the end of it!”
Goal Success by Choice
Do you have dreams that you are trying to make come true? Do you have a goal that you are trying to crush? Success doesn’t happen by chance. Success is a series of choices that can make you unstoppable. Goal Success by Choice helps you make these choices to move you closer to your goals.
Are you ready to help build a world where no goal dies of loneliness?
Want to fail with personal transformation? Underestimate this change.
We were neither what we had been nor what we would become once we reached our destination.
Jeff VanderMeer
As I am rapidly approaching the fourth anniversary of my 100-pound weight loss milestone, I have started reflecting on my journey.
As a writer, I am often thinking about headlines. A good headline should be an honest summary of the subject matter yet intriguing enough that the reader wants to click into the story. So, I started thinking about the headline for my weight loss story.
The headline of my story could be something like “Man Loses 100 Pounds in 9 Months,” but that fails the “good headline” test above in two ways. First, this headline is kind of boring and leaves the reader thinking, “so what?” More importantly, this headline isn’t an honest summary of the story.
Indeed, my journey started as a quest to lose weight and correct a lifetime of obesity and disregard for my health, but it quickly became more than that. Yes, I lost the weight and got significantly healthier. But wait, there’s more…
- I discovered a passion for fitness and became an amateur athlete along the way, finishing my first half marathon just sixteen months after tipping the scale at 325 pounds.
- I learned more about myself, my motivations and my values.
- I rekindled my passion for project management and proved that it can change lives.
- I found my voice and became an author with a blog and two published books … so far.
- I finally started to love myself more than I have in the forty years that led to the start of this journey.
- I discovered a passion for helping people achieve their goals, became a coach and started growing a business committed to building a world where no goals die of loneliness.
My journey changed my life. It improved how I feel about myself and the world around me. So, maybe a better headline is needed.
Man’s Weight Loss Journey Results In Unexpected Transformation
Transformation
I talk a lot about transformation throughout my blog, but let’s pause to reflect on what that means. The definition of transformation is the act or process of changing completely. The process is all about having a goal for the future, going through a complete change and not going back.
This process happens all around us:
- In nature, a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. Spring transforms to summer, fall, winter, and then back to a new spring.
- In business, companies transform by changing their lines of business or how they interact with their customers. Most notably is the digital transformation to serve customers in new, technology-enabled manners.
- People transform too through personal transformational journeys. These journeys are focused on the process of changing who you are and becoming the person you want to be, which is a powerful and rewarding process. Some examples include undergoing a major weight loss that completely changes your life. Escaping poverty to achieve lasting financial independence. Breaking free from addiction. And many, many others.
Throughout my project management career, I have been a part of many business transformation projects. I can tell you that they are not easy and are a lot of work. They require a balance of focusing on what is changing, who needs to change, and why it is essential.
Transformation projects are executed by people and bring a lot of change. They require a focused change management effort to help people get from point A to point B.
This means identifying what is changing, who it will impact and preparing the affected people to succeed in the new, post-transformation world. Without change management, transformation projects in the business world fail.
But, beware: for every visible transformation that somebody goes through, there is another, more difficult, entirely invisible transformation.
Internal and External Transformation
Transformational change comes in two forms: internal and external transformation.
External change applies to all things you can see, hear, feel and such. People are using new tools and technologies. People are following new processes. People are doing different jobs with different reporting relationships.
These external changes are a significant portion of transformation efforts. But they barely scratch the surface of the complexity of internal changes.
Internal transformation is all about changing how people think about their jobs.
For an internal change, people need to shift their focus and what they value in their jobs. For example, consider a merchant who has only ever focused on selling her products in physical stores. For this merchant to focus on digital sales requires a change in her thinking, not just a change in tactics.
All change is hard and transformational change is particularly challenging. But, internal transformation is amongst the most daunting change management challenges we can face. This is one of the reasons that so many transformation projects fail.
The Change Inside You
I have a great deal of first-hand experience with personal transformation. I can tell you that it is a change management exercise like none other. No matter the form of personal transformation you are pursuing, many external transformations are required. These are the changes that other people can see. Some examples from my personal experiences include:
- Transformation from poverty to financial stability: people can see that change as I began living differently (reliable car, better restaurants, clothes that aren’t falling apart, etc.).
- Transformation from obesity to a healthy, fit lifestyle: people could see me melting away, my healthier eating and drinking habits and my commitment to exercise.
These external transformations required lots of tangible changes and the associated change management. But, they were easy in comparison to my internal transformation. The things that other people don’t see are the most difficult to manage.
When you transform yourself personally, you have to think differently about yourself and your life. You have to see yourself differently. You have to let go of the familiar stability of the old you. This is really hard, uncomfortable and feels scary. And there is no template for how to do it.
I have consistently underestimated the complexity and time required to complete my internal transformation in every one of my personal transformations.
- Decades later, I still struggle with my relationship with money and willingness to spend and invest versus sticking it into a savings account.
- I am still working to see myself as having a healthy, fit body when I look in the mirror. I also still work on managing my relationship with food and autopilot eating.
- I still suffer from a bit of imposter syndrome as I write or coach people towards their own goals. The same applies to thinking of myself as a leader, an athlete or other personas that absolutely apply to me.
- I can be over-reliant on external validation and must continually manage my relationship with numbers and remind myself that I am not my numbers.
I work to deliberately manage these things every day of my life and not let my auto-pilot brain take over. I am the transformed person I want to be, and I want to not look back or fall into old habits.
Managing Internal Transformation
My internal personal transformation is not complete and may not ever be finished. But, I have learned to manage it and usually succeed more than I fail. Most importantly, my internal transformation gets a little easier every day.
I want to share a tool that you can use to help manage your internal transformation efforts. But remember, despite your best efforts, your internal transformation will simply be hard and will take time. There is no magic formula. But, this A, B, C strategy can help.
Always remember your why
I have said it dozens of times in this blog and my books, any successful personal transformation starts with a strong case for the change, your why. Having a strong why will help keep you motivated when times get tough. If your why is strong enough, your how becomes easier to manage.
Be prepared, patient and yourself.
Be prepared for the process to be difficult. Like anything in life, our own expectations can be our biggest ally or worst enemy. It is important to start any transformation with your eyes wide open to what may cause a setback.
There are two main expectations that you should have when you start: expect the internal transformation and expect it to be hard.
Be patient with the process and yourself. You will have many ups and downs, hard times and good times. Be patient with the process and keep going. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, you are growing, and it isn’t easy.
Be yourself. I can tell you first-hand that your identity during a transformation is tough. If you allow it, your transformation will become your brand and your identity. So, take steps to protect the separation between who you are and what you are doing.
Don’t be exclusively and maniacally focused on your transformation at the expense of other areas of your life. You are still you, and continuing to do the things you love will help you enjoy the journey. Being yourself also means being aware that you will go through this transformation at your own pace with your own feelings.
Connect
Ensure that you are staying connected with others as you are transforming.
Your friends and family can help keep you grounded.
Your team of experts can help you navigate the ups and downs.
Connection with others going through similar transformations can help you manage your own expectations. Connecting with people who are just starting similar transformation journeys gives you a chance to tell your story and help them get started.
Connection with yourself to stay aware of your feelings is also important because you can’t manage what you don’t know is there.
While you are thinking about connecting, here is an important reminder. You can’t see other people going through this difficult internal transformation. You never know what people are going through inside their own minds. So, please be kind, patient, supportive and empathetic to those around you. It can make a big difference in their lives.
So What?
Transformation in business or in your personal life means change. It means having a goal for the future, going through a complete change and not going back.
Like any other type of change, successful transformational change is fragile and requires careful management to avoid failure. Simply managing the changes that you can see, the external transformation, isn’t enough. A second, invisible type of change must also be considered, or you will be back to your old habits in the blink of an eye.
Need a partner to help you prepare a plan for your internal transformation? Looking for someone who has been there before? I’m here for you!
Click Here to learn more about my Operation Melt coaching services.
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