Are you choosing to live a happy, fulfilled life?
That’s right, studies have proven that ninety percent of the factors that make the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life are factors within your control. One life hack proven to help unlock your best life is setting, pursuing, and achieving goals.
But you don’t have to take my word for it; many other people are proving this point every single day. They are setting goals, doing the work and building the life of their dreams.
Don’t Take My Word For It, an Operation Melt blog series, shares how other people – people just like you – are choosing to achieve happiness through their goals.
Yes, you can choose a happy life, but don’t take my word for it!
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line!
The Taboo F-Word and a Popular Celebrity Chef
WARNING:
This blog post contains a word that may be
offensive or triggering to high-achievers…
reader discretion is advised!
Surprise Life Coach explores the goal success strategies, tips and mindsets found in the most unlikely places. From television shows to movies to music to books and more, life coaches are all around us, hidden in the most unexpected places. We simply need to pay attention, and we can reap the rewards from this free coaching.
Over the past week, I binge-watched many episodes of Restaurant: Impossible. If you have never watched this show, it features Robert Irvine, an English-born Celebrity Chef, restauranteur, entrepreneur, fitness enthusiast and philanthropic supporter of the military. Chef Irvine and his team are called into a struggling restaurant to turn it around in just two days and with a ten-thousand-dollar budget.
There are many ways that Restaurant: Impossible fits the reality show formula. There are lots of semi-contrived conflicts, yelling and screaming; each restaurant features “the worst kitchen I’ve ever seen,” and there’s usually a point where Robert Irvine says, “We may not be able to open on time.” Then each show inevitably ends with a successful reopening, an upgraded owner and happy customers.
When you dig a little deeper – past the reality show schtick – you’ll find that this show is as much about leadership and life coaching as it is about good food and customer experience. Irvine has to fix the owner and the restaurant.
Let’s talk about the “F” word…
The series of episodes I watched this week focused heavily on the most socially-unacceptable “F” word. No, not that word! The word I am talking about is way more taboo.
FAILURE
That’s right, I said it… it’s out there now.
In several episodes, the restaurant was clearly failing – as is the premise of the show. But the owner of the restaurant wouldn’t admit this fact. Through a series of loud, drill sergeant-like discussions, Chef Irvine forced the owner to see and ultimately admit the failure. It is impossible to turn around the restaurant without acknowledging the failure and accepting reality. Sooner or later, they’ll be back in the same condition.
Why weren’t the restaurant owners willing to accept reality? While many underlying causes may exist, it often boils down to identity. Most featured restaurant owners spend every waking moment holding their businesses together with both hands. They are exerting tons of energy but not necessarily working smart. Despite their challenges, their all-in approach results in their business defining most or all of their identity. So, like many of us, they internalize this failure to an unhealthy degree.
High achievers often believe, “If my business / project / goal is failing, I am a failure.”
In a world that often emphasizes success and achievement, it’s easy to fall into the trap of equating having a failure with being a failure. This simply isn’t true! This mindset is both limiting and detrimental to our personal growth. Failing is an integral part of the journey toward success, and it’s crucial to understand that a setback doesn’t define who we are.
Turning around the failure “scaries”…
Here are four simple reminders, mindsets, and practical steps you can take to help you better cope with the “F” word in a healthier, less triggering way:
- Failure Is an Event, Not an Identity: it is crucial to understand that failure is an event, not a fixed characteristic. Just because you’ve experienced failure in a specific endeavor doesn’t mean you are a failure as a whole. Your worth as an individual extends far beyond any single setback.
- Taking Action: when a failure occurs, acknowledge it and remind yourself, “I had a failure, I’m not a failure.”
- Failure Is an Amazing Teacher: every failure is a lesson in disguise. Instead of dwelling on the disappointment, focus on the knowledge and insights you gain from the experience. Mistakes and missteps provide valuable feedback that can help you refine your approach, make better decisions, and ultimately achieve your goals.
- Taking Action: once you have acknowledged your failure, ask yourself, “What caused this failure, and what lessons can I learn for next time?” Note: my Retrospective Template (available for free on OperationMelt.com) is an effective tool when reviewing your failures.
- Fail Forward: “failing forward” means using your failures as stepping stones toward success. Each failure brings you closer to your goals by helping you course-correct and adapt. Embracing this perspective encourages you to view failures as progress rather than setbacks, ultimately propelling you closer to your desired outcomes. If you doubt failure is part of success, check out 11 Famous Failures That Will Inspire You to Success from Inc magazine.
- Taking Action: keep moving! Once you complete your retrospective, revise your plan and take another step towards your goal.
- Build Your Failure Muscle: failing is never easy, but you can make it a little easier by failing more often, doing it as quickly as possible, accepting it and moving on (you’re failing forward). Most importantly, remember that you have tons of successes, not just failures. Remembering your overwhelmingly successful life will help fortify you against the failure “scaries.”
- Taking Action: create your personal highlight reel. Spend a little time reflecting on all of the successes you have achieved in life. These include school, family, work, health and fitness, personal growth, and anywhere else you have racked up wins in your life. Write these down (yes, you have to physically/virtually put them on paper, not just in your head) and review them regularly, especially when a failure is imminent or has occurred.
Failing doesn’t define your identity—it refines it. Embracing the reality that failing doesn’t make you a failure liberates you from the fear of setbacks. Every stumble is a lesson, a chance to grow, and a stepping stone toward your aspirations. Remember, the most successful individuals have faced failures along the way. So, fall forward, embrace your setbacks, and let them guide you on the transformative journey to becoming the best version of yourself.
Go ahead, say the “F” word… you won’t get in trouble!
Do you need a little help diagnosing a failure? Are you looking for a partner to help you use a failure to build a new plan to achieve your goals? Do you feel like a failure and want somebody to help you see a healthier truth? It sounds like coaching may be right for you! I am a certified Master Life Coach and would be honored to work with you.
Click here to learn more about my coaching services.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
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