In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals.
Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? Did you know hippos can swim and run faster than humans? That means the bicycle is the only chance we have to beat them in the triathlon.
Help… I Try New Self-improvement Hacks But Always Fail!
Coach Tony: I follow a ton of self-improvement blogs and podcasts. I have heard countless life hacks, success strategies and other tips for achieving my goals. Many tips sound foolproof, but I fail when I try them. They don’t work immediately, and I quickly abandon them to return to the old me. Am I just broken or helpless? What am I doing wrong?
You aren’t broken and I don’t think you are helpless.
Your situation is all-too-common and is the often untold byproduct of the self-improvement industry.
Fact Check: It’s as Easy as 1, 2, 3 (False)
Every author, podcaster, coach and others dedicated to helping people with self-improvement has their own “easy” system or approach. In our zeal to simplify our systems to help make them understandable, we often do a disservice to the people using them. We over-simplify our systems and under-sell the work required to make them successful.
In my case, I have my Project Manage Your Life approach and my six strategies:
- Commit to SMART goals
- Build a plan that works for you
- Measure progress every day
- Expect and plan ahead for problems
- Don’t go it alone
- Enjoy the journey
While these six steps are seemingly straightforward, they require work. Even a step as seemingly simple as committing to SMART goals requires effort to figure out what goals you really want and why you want them. It’s work worth doing, but work nonetheless.
When these systems are presented as simple and foolproof, and the work required is undersold, you aren’t set up for success. Instead, you are set up for the feelings you are having.
Let me set the record straight: no self-improvement system is easy, foolproof or guaranteed. All self-improvement, change and transformation requires effort, patience and discipline… and failure still isn’t impossible even with those things.
Change Your Habits, Change Your Life
Few things undermine self-improvement faster than your habits.
A habit is an action or behavior that you repeat frequently enough that you do it without active thought. These habits are the secret to achieving true self-improvement instead of a flash-in-the-pan effort that ultimately fails.
Weight loss is the perfect example of the power of habit. That one lunch where you chose a salad or that one visit to the gym will not result in meaningful weight loss. Similarly, that one weekend when you vegged on the couch or that one burger you ate won’t result in weight gain. Achieving weight loss generally requires a consistent series of good choices and days where you burn more calories than you consume.
Successful weight loss and other life changes require habits that yield the desired results.
Habits are the compounding interest of self-improvement.
Good habits win out over good life hacks every time.
Drop It Like a Bad Habit
What if your habits aren’t the ones you need to achieve your goals?
Easy… you just change your habits, right? Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done because habits are stubborn, tricky things. Yes, you can change your habits, but it will require a little time and effort.
If you are ready to take control of your habits, it’s time to turn to our old friend: discipline.
As I explained in Discipline Not Default: “Disciplined behaviors mean pausing to consider what behaviors, choices, or actions are needed from you at that moment. This means choosing behaviors aligned with your goals and values, not just operating out of habit or doing what is easy.”
When you want to change a habit, disciplined behaviors mean you will need to:
- Commit to your goal – where do you want to be?
- Identify the habits holding you back – when do those habits happen?
- Deliberately choose a different path – what do you need to do instead?
I have talked about how to choose and commit to a goal frequently, so I won’t drill into that point. If you need help, please download my free Goal Success Quick Start Guide eBook.
Let’s move to the second point, identifying the habits holding you back. Bad news: there is no magic formula or process for this step. Identifying these habits will require you to pay attention to your day-to-day behaviors so you can uncover those meaningful moments where your actions held you back.
I recommend using journaling to accomplish this. At the end of each day, reflect on the events of the day as they pertain to your goal. What went well? What didn’t go well? What didn’t go (particularly the goal-related behaviors you engaged in without thinking)?
For example, when trying to increase your savings account balance, did you visit the local coffee shop and choose an expensive drink? Did you dine out for lunch? Did you go on an online shopping spree?
A Different Path
Once you have identified a habit that needs changing, it’s time to start some daily tracking.
Each time a situation arises in which your old habit would usually surface, make a different choice. Then, use my Qualitative Goal Tracking Worksheet (available in the Resources section) to track your progress with choosing a different path. Did you succeed? Circle a smiley face for today (or even the morning/evening). Did you revert to your old habit? Circle a frown.
Continue tracking your decision-making daily.
How long must you track your alternate choices until your habit changes? It depends… but the 21/90 rule is a good guideline.
- Commit to your goal (or new habit) for 21 days, and it will become a habit.
- Commit to your goal for 90 days, and it will become a part of your lifestyle.
Does this mean you must slow down, make deliberate decisions and track your progress for 90 days? Only if changing your habit is important to you. If so, isn’t 90 days a small price to pay?
I know ninety days of discipline and work isn’t as sexy as a quick self-improvement hack, but it’s much more likely to result in real change.
Identifying your self-limiting habits and their triggers can be tricky. Even worse, commitments to yourself are more likely to move to the back burner when life gets in the way. As a coach, I can help you identify your goals and the habits holding you back. Plus, I will provide a second set of eyes to help you stay accountable to yourself. Are you ready to work with a Master Life Coach and build the habits that will unlock the life of your dreams? I am here for you and would be honored to help.
I believe in you and want to help YOU believe in you!
Please visit the Operation Melt coaching page and submit a non-obligation inquiry form.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
Breathe new life into your goals
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