Are you choosing to live a happy, fulfilled life?
That’s right, studies have proven that ninety percent of the factors that make the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life are factors within your control. One life hack proven to help unlock your best life is setting, pursuing, and achieving goals.
But you don’t have to take my word for it; many other people are proving this point every single day. They are setting goals, doing the work and building the life of their dreams.
Don’t Take My Word For It, an Operation Melt blog series, shares how other people – people just like you – are choosing to achieve happiness through their goals.
Yes, you can choose a happy life, but don’t take my word for it!
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? I just received one of the best Christmas gifts ever: a broken drum. You simply can't beat it!
Announcement: That’s a Wrap!
This is my 50th blog of 2023. Just writing a blog doesn’t mean it will be read, so I also published 100 emails and several hundred social media posts and stories.
It’s not just about quantity either… throughout this year, the quality of my writing improved more than any other time since I launched in 2017.
My coaching was also busy and rewarding in 2023, and I was honored to help multiple clients achieve their goals.
Last but certainly not least, I also launched my fourth book and fiction debut, Seasons of Transformation, this year. The idea for this book didn’t even exist at this time last year.
2023 has been a very busy year for me and Operation Melt … and it was a good one!
To celebrate my hard work and successes this year, I am taking a break. This is my last blog for 2023.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. Thank you for making 2023 such a memorable one.
I’ll be back with a new Interview with a Goal-Crusher in January.
Tossing Erasers: The Powerful Life Lessons In A Leadership Exercise
Surprise Life Coach explores the goal success strategies, tips and mindsets found in the most unlikely places. Since launching this series, I have shared success tips found in movies, television shows, quotes and even the seasons. Today’s post is a story from a training class that has become core to my identity.
Cathy sat in a chair in the middle of the room surrounded by a group of coworkers participating in the same leadership training class. A reluctant volunteer for a classroom exercise, Cathy’s task was to throw as many dry-erase board erasers into a trash can a few feet away in 30 seconds.
Sounds like an easy challenge, right?
Well, like many such exercises, there was a catch.
Cathy was blindfolded and couldn’t see the erasers or the trash can.
Not as easy, right?
Cathy had three chances to land erasers in the trash can while blindfolded. The only difference between each time was the behavior of the other participants in the class.
First Try: Shhhh!
It was time for Cathy’s first try. All the other participants were instructed to remain silent. The goal was to let Cathy try to accomplish her task with no feedback.
Ready… set… go!
The thirty-second timer started, and the instructor began handing erasers to Cathy. When an eraser was put into her hand, she tossed it to where she saw the trash can before putting on her blindfold.
As you would expect, she was not successful. One eraser glanced off the side of the can, but it was the only one that came close.
After removing her blindfold, Cathy learned her score was zero erasers with no audience support.
Second Try: Not Even Close!
On Cathy’s second attempt, the other participants were given different instructions.
The group was asked to be vocal and to help Cathy get the erasers into the trash can. There was a catch, the other people in the class could only help by providing negative/critical comments to Cathy.
The instructor said “Go!” and started handing Cathy erasers to throw. As Cathy threw her erasers, the class didn’t hesitate to provide feedback.
“You missed… you were way off to the right.”
“Did you even try, you weren’t close.”
“How are you missing these, you just need to aim a little more left.”
“You got one, maybe try to do that again.”
The comments were insistent and quite critical… some excessively harsh.
Despite the prickly support, Cathy’s performance improved and she got two erasers into the can.
Last Try: You Got This!
For Cathy’s final try, the class was asked to give her feedback again. This time, the instructions were to provide only positive, supportive feedback.
(I’m sure we all see where this is going, right?)
The instructor started handing Cathy erasers and she started throwing them. With erasers flying, the class did as told.
“You were so close, just a little more to the left.”
“Yeah!!!! That one was good, you got this!”
“Ohh.. Almost went in, just a little softer.”
With the positive reinforcement, Cathy started landing erasers in the trash can. She moved so quickly that the instructor struggled to replenish Cathy’s eraser supply.
When the time was up, with positive feedback, Cathy successfully tossed eight erasers into the trash can. Her success was celebrated by the other participants in the class.
What did the exercise teach us?
This exercise was a metaphor for leadership and for life in general.
When you are pursuing a goal and the path isn’t clear, your probability of achieving success alone is limited. When Cathy was throwing erasers in silence, she didn’t know if she was on the right path or if she succeeded at all until time had expired.
Life lesson #1: don’t go it alone. Feedback and support matter when you are on the journey to your goals.
The second lesson from this exercise is that the type of feedback you receive matters.
Cathy experienced a slight improvement in her performance from the negative feedback – though I’m sure she felt like crap afterward. When the feedback became positive, Cathy was essentially unstoppable. She succeeded more and faster than any of her other attempts.
Life lesson #2: positivity matters. When you have the option to give feedback to help someone reach their goal, focus on positive, supportive feedback and check your negativity at the door.
More Than An Exercise
This story represents more than just an exercise to me; it is a commitment I have made to my identity.
As I have progressed through life, I have learned a valuable lesson: I get to choose the person I want to be. Using this power, I have chosen to be a positive, approachable, laid-back, fun person. I am so positive that “Positivity” is in my Gallup StrengthsFinder top five.
Choosing who you want to be isn’t always easy, and not everybody will like it.
Being exceptionally positive hasn’t always served me well. I can show you many performance reviews from my years in corporate that passively critique my positivity. This feedback uses comments like “Be more aggressive,” “Be more vocal and argue more,” “When’s the last time you raised your voice,” and “You need to be more direct and get in their faces.” While this feedback may have served other leaders well, it was not suitable for me.
To me, these critical comments criticizing my positivity could just as easily have been people screaming, “You’re way off,” as I am throwing erasers while blindfolded. It wasn’t helpful and resulted only in minor course corrections. I was unwilling to be the person this feedback was designed to make me. It contradicted my values.
My Secret Recipe
We all have our own secret recipe featuring our proprietary blend of eleven herbs and spices.
I am a coach and no two coaches are the same. We are different people with our individual personalities and we approach our coaching in a unique way. When searching for a coach, finding one whose vibe/style/personality is compatible with you is essential. Like dating, a relationship with a coach (or mentor, boss, etc.) is better when you have chemistry.
There are many ways I am unique as a coach. If you read Seasons of Transformation, you’ll get a glimpse into what it is like to work with me. Three of the things that set me apart as a coach include:
- I’ve been there and transformed my own life with the tools I am sharing with you… they are field-tested!
- I use a left-brained approach based on project management… it works and makes sense!
- I approach my coaching with a non-judgmental, supportive and positive personality… I will be in your corner, not in your face.
I want to be your cheerleader, not your drill sergeant.
If you want to get your erasers into the trash can while wearing a blindfold, you need a partner. More importantly, you deserve a positive, supportive partner. Don’t ever settle for less!
Are you ready for me to bring some positivity into your journey to the life of your dreams? I am a master life coach and would be honored to help you break free from the life you should have and unlock the life you want to live.
I believe in you and want to help YOU believe in you!
Please visit the Operation Melt coaching page and let me know you are interested in having a conversation.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
Breathe new life into your goals
Download my free ebook to learn how to create goals that actually work and get the jump-start you need in life!
