In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals.
Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.
Are you ready for a dad joke?
I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. My dad joke may be groan-worthy, but it's worth every penny you paid for it, right?
I visited a battery store and told the clerk, "I need a battery so I can tell the time." The clerk asked me, "Is it for a clock?" Frustrated, I replied, "I don't know, that's why I need the battery!"
4 Strategies to Combat a Season of Crappiness
An “Ah Ha!” moment I’ve had throughout my life is realizing that our lives go through seasons.
In Seasons of Transformation, I explained how personal transformation progresses through seasons. Kate begins the book with a harsh personal winter where everything seems frozen in place. Then she progresses through Spring, where she does her planting work, then Summer and into Fall, when she harvests her growtn.
Many theologians and self-improvement authors discuss the difference between seasons when we plant versus when we harvest in our lives. I even discussed this concept in a 2021 blog titled Taking Some Profit. Put simply, there are times when we can take breaks from our goals and celebrate our results.
Other people talk about the stages of life as being seasonal. We start in spring, and our lives progress toward the inevitable winter when they end. Kind of a downer, right?
The metaphor of comparing our lives to seasons is very popular. With so many people using this metaphor, I am always surprised to find a different perspective to share with you. Alas, that is what I have for you today.
Is This The Season of Crappiness?
Over the past two months, I have talked to many people — friends, clients, coworkers, acquaintances, and strangers — and I have observed a consistent theme developing. Many people are experiencing a tougher-than-normal time in their lives.
Devastating tornados.
Turmoil at work.
Homes hit with fires and floods.
Health issues.
Relationship challenges with friends and partners.
These issues are unrelated and temporary; they will pass. Unfortunately, they all seem to be surfacing at the same time. It just seems like it is the season for these setbacks.
For some people, this is just the season of crappiness.
Sometimes, life happens this way – multiple people experience challenging times simultaneously. Fortunately, just like a season, this isn’t an everyday occurrence, and it passes in time.
Are you currently experiencing a season of crappiness? If so, there are things within your control you can do to navigate the season – even if the root issues are beyond your control.
Today, I will share four strategies you can leverage to help you get through your season of crappiness.
Strategy 1: It’s a Season
Like many things in life, the first step to improving your current situation is to focus on your mindset. During a season of crappiness, it is helpful to remind yourself that it is only a season. Yes, things suck right now, but that suck will pass and life will get back to normal.
Like any other mindset exercise, I recommend my PostIT note exercise to help you with your season of crappiness.
On a PostIT, write three things you would want your BFF to tell you when you are having a bad day (or when experiencing a season of crappiness). Hang these PostIT notes on your bathroom mirror and read them to yourself every morning (and whenever you are struggling). This is a great way to start becoming a friend to yourself.
If you haven’t read Seasons of Transformation, this exercise worked great for Kate! (Hey, that rhymes!)
Strategy 2: What’s Right?
An effective technique for dealing with the things that are going poorly in life is to focus on the things that are going right. What are those things in your life you are grateful for as these other things have gotten crappy? A mountain of psychological research has concluded that focusing on gratitude is strongly correlated with increased happiness. So, an attitude of gratitude will help carry you out of your season of crappiness.
How do you embrace an attitude of gratitude? Here are two strategies that have worked for me.
Wake up and be grateful. The first strategy for living a life of gratitude starts first thing each morning. It is time to incorporate a gratitude practice into your morning routine. When you get up each morning, spend a few minutes identifying two or three things you are grateful for in your life. If you already have a journaling practice, this is an excellent upgrade to that habit.
Don’t miss an opportunity. The second strategy is to be grateful in the moment. When somebody does something to help you or just generally does a good job, tell them about it. Let the person know that you noticed their hard work and appreciate it. This doesn’t have to be over-the-top or awkward, but just make sure the person knows you appreciate their efforts.
By focusing on gratitude, you and the people around you will be able to live a life that is just a little bit happier, and that season of crappiness will shrink.
Strategy 3: What Can You Do?
Often, your season of crappiness is driven by the feeling that you have no control over the things that are going wrong in your life. But this feeling is often false; you usually have more control than you think. Once you feel like you have some control over the events happening to you, they will begin feeling far less crappy.
The first step to wrestling back control over the crappy events in your life is brainstorming.
Grab a notebook and go to a quiet place where you can think clearly.
- At the top of a blank sheet of paper, write a concise, one-sentence description of the crappy event that feels out of your control.
- Then, write as many answers as possible to the question, “What is one step I can take to help me fix this issue?” Make sure to include everything on your page, no matter how small or far-fetched the idea.
- Finally, circle one step you could take within the next twenty-four hours to start exerting control over the crappy situation.
Taking one step, no matter how small, you will immediately feel like you have more control. Then, you can revisit your brainstorming, choose another item, and repeat the process.
Nothing de-crapifies a situation faster than realizing you aren’t helpless.
Strategy 4: Lean Into Joy
Ok, here’s the last strategy — and my favorite one. When life gives you a bunch of crappiness, follow the advice from the Simpsons episode where the advertising icons come to life and attack the town. Just don’t look!
Ok, maybe that’s too simple, but there is a grain of truth there.
If you choose to focus on something else, the crappy events take up less of your energy. Instead of dedicating all your energy to negative events, take a break and do something that brings you joy. This strategy will allow you to continue embracing joy and happiness while you are dealing with the crappy stuff too.
You can do more than one thing at a time; just make sure that some of those things bring you joy.
I have talked to many people lately who have shared a common theme –
Are you living through a season of crappiness right now? Try these four strategies to help de-crapify your situation. If you need a little help pivoting from crappy to happy, I would be glad to be your partner. As your coach, I will work with you to employ these and other strategies to get you back on track with your goals. Let’s work together to make it happen.
I believe in you; let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
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