Are you choosing to live a happy, fulfilled life?
That’s right, studies have proven that ninety percent of the factors that make the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life are factors within your control. One life hack proven to help unlock your best life is setting, pursuing, and achieving goals.
Yes, you can choose a happy life, but don’t take my word for it! Here’s an example of how other people – people just like you – are choosing to achieve happiness through their goals.
Are you ready for a dad joke?
I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. My dad joke may be groan-worthy, but it's worth every penny you paid for it, right?
A friend told me that yoga is the best exercise in the world. I replied, "that's a bit of a stretch."
Daring To Navigate Life’s Unexpected Twists and Turns with Openness (Interview)
Welcome to this week’s Interview with a Goal-Crusher. In these interviews, I sit down with someone accomplishing big things by setting and achieving their goals to learn their secrets. Then I share those secrets with you. It’s like free mentoring from someone already on the road to success. Who doesn’t want that?!
In 2018, I was laid off from my ten-year, all-encompassing job. I made an uncharacteristic decision to use this time as a much-needed four-month sabbatical and break from almost twenty-five years of nonstop working. I focused on non-work priorities: my fitness journey, personal development and writing my first book (see Operation Melt: How I Used Life-Changing Project Management to Lose Over 100 Pounds in Under a Year). My sabbatical was a rewarding, life-changing experience!
During my countless hours of sabbatical exercise (walking, running, gym time), I began listening to podcasts for the first time. Podcasts became an essential tool for habit stacking, allowing me to combine my two priorities at the same time. I discovered many podcasts that I still listen to today.
No podcast has been as important (and pivotal) fixture in my life as Clarity on Fire. This podcast launched during my sabbatical, and I started listening on day one. Clarity on Fire features two best friends and life and career coaches, Rachel East and Kristen Walker, discussing personal development and other fun topics. They are engaging, authentic, inspiring and a lot of fun.
To this day, I don’t know how I found Clarity on Fire or if it found me. Either way, it has been an invaluable part of my life for six years. For example, they allowed me to share my personal journey in an interview I did with them in 2019 (listen here). More importantly, I didn’t know anything about coaching until I started listening to Clarity on Fire… now I am a certified master life coach who helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers accomplish their biggest goals. The list of ways that Rachel and Kristen have impacted me goes on and on.
I was shocked when I discovered that significant developments in Rachel and Kristen’s lives were causing Clarity on Fire to take an indefinite hiatus. I was also inspired by their ability to pivot to respond to life’s unplanned twists and turns. I just had to interview Rachel and share her goal-crushing, rollercoaster story with my Operation Melt readers. Fortunately, she said “yes”!
Please introduce yourself and tell my readers about you and what you do.
I’m Rachel, one half of the duo at Clarity on Fire, a life & career coaching site (and podcast!) that serves up inspiration and down-to-earth wisdom to people who know what they don’t want in work and in life, but have no idea what they’d rather be doing.
What motivated you to remain open to adjusting your path and reinventing yourself along the way? What was your vision? Can you share some/all of your story?
I’d love to claim that I was always open to adjustment and reinvention, but the truth is that I had to learn a lot of things the hard way!
My best friend and I started a life and career coaching business when we were in our early twenties. At that time, I wasn’t open to anything other than the exact life I envisioned for myself – getting to work for myself while making a meaningful impact on the lives of others.
I did eventually achieve that goal, but my stubborn insistence that it unfold on my terms, on my timeline, made my journey a lot harder than it probably needed to be!
It took me over a decade of learning and maturing to realize that sometimes things are difficult because you’re convinced that you know what’s right for you or what your path should look like. It takes a lot of effort to bend life to your will in that way, and it definitely led me to burnout multiple times.
What was the first step you took to get started with your multiple reinventions?
Over time, I became more open to getting what I needed rather than just what I thought I wanted.
One of the things that most helped me adjust my mindset around being open to life unfolding in ways I couldn’t expect—but ultimately perhaps better than what I had in mind—was a little book called Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver. I’ve read a LOT of self-help and personal development books in my time, but this one is by far my favorite. It paints a picture of how you could actually start letting go of the iron grip of control and allow something bigger than you (call it the Universe, God, or whatever you want) to take the lead and show the way.
What were your biggest challenges in achieving your goals? How did you overcome them?
My biggest challenge in achieving most of my goals (career and personal) was always my attachment to when I wanted something to happen. Of course, instant gratification is nearly impossible, so to some degree, we will always be waiting longer than we want for something to happen.
In my case, one of my biggest life goals was to get married and have children. But I ended up being completely single for 11 years, which often felt like torture, and I frequently doubted whether I’d ever end up with someone. I channeled my feelings into a 7-part podcast miniseries called Forever Alone, which you should check out!
I won’t sugarcoat it – I was often incredibly pissed off at the Universe for “forcing” me to be alone for so long when I so deeply did not want to be.
Ultimately, I did meet someone, and I’m expecting my first baby at the end of this year. And in hindsight, I see now why I probably couldn’t have met him any sooner than I did. Both of us had experiences to move through and lessons to learn before meeting, and meeting sooner meant we probably wouldn’t have been ready for the kind of healthy, growth-oriented relationship I was looking for.
What goal success tips and techniques have worked well for you that you would like to share with my readers?
If you have a goal that you can’t set a true deadline for because the outcome is out of your hands – say you’re in a job you hate, but you can’t force a new job to show up on your timeline – then create your own light at the end of the tunnel.
I think one of the hardest things about sticking it out doing something we don’t like (be it a job, being single indefinitely, etc.) is having no idea when it ends. It’s easier to tolerate something when you know it’s finite. So, even if you don’t know when something will end, circle a date on your calendar and decide, “This is when this is over.”
It may not force the Universe to deliver that thing to you on that exact timeline, but it helps your brain when you have an end date in mind. And there’s something about giving the Universe a deadline that I swear does set things into motion.
What is one big goal you are pursuing now?
I’d actually say that I’m in a phase of life where I’m not actively pursuing any goals. And as a matter of fact, I think that’s healthy and necessary sometimes!
Life is seasonal and cyclical. Sometimes, it’s great to be in productive, getting-stuff-done mode. Other times, it’s best to just be in the flow and allow yourself to process. I find myself in the latter mode right now.
I’m taking a hiatus from my podcast and cutting back on coaching while simultaneously planning a wedding in the fall and preparing for a baby in the winter. There’s plenty to do, but I’m not goal-oriented about any of it. I’m allowing myself to experience life as it comes at me and maybe even try to appreciate being in a phase of life I often hoped for during those many years of unrelenting singledom!
What else would you like my Operation Melt readers to know about you, your business, or about goal success in general?
One of the most important things I focus on with all of my clients is creating goals that are less anchored in surface-level metrics or milestones and are instead rooted in your values and feelings.
For me, a successful goal isn’t something like “lose 20 pounds”; it’s “feel more alive and energetic.” Of course, in pursuit of feeling more alive, you will almost certainly lose that 20 pounds, but the intention behind why we do what we do matters so much!
How can people learn more about you?
For all your life & career direction needs, listen to the Clarity on Fire podcast wherever podcasts are found! We might be on a hiatus now, but there are over 400 episodes to keep you entertained for a very long time.
You can also find me writing and coaching about singledom, dating, and relationships on Substack at https://racheleast.substack.com/.
And follow me on Instagram @clarityonfire and @racheleast18!
Rachel’s story is impressive, inspiring, and an excellent reminder to stay grounded when living a goal-centered life. As she said, “Life is seasonal and cyclical,” and there are times when our primary goal needs to be enjoying and processing where we are in life rather than continually chasing what’s next. I know I am guilty of doing this.
Another theme I appreciated in Rachel’s story was letting go of control over timing. Sometimes, we need to trust the Universe to decide the right time to bring things into our lives. This is just one more thing, like our weight, where we have influence but not control over the results. That can be a hard pill to swallow, but it is an essential one.
Throughout Rachel’s story, she touched on a few of my Project Manage Your Life principles, albeit in different ways. Let’s drill into a couple of them.
- Set SMART Goals: In my preferred definition of SMART, the R stands for relevant, which means having a strong why behind your goal. Rachel reminded us of the power of a strong why: “The intention behind why we do what we do matters so much!”
- Build a plan that works for you: Rachel talked a lot about the importance of building a plan that works for you, but maybe not the plan you think. Trying to force a goal on an arbitrary timeline is not necessarily a plan that “works” for you, just one you “want” to work for you. As Rachel said, her goals came to fruition when she “became more open to getting what [she] needed rather than just what [Rachel] thought [she] wanted.”
- Don’t go it alone: You might not have caught it, but Rachel talked about a unique member of her team of experts during her journey. Rachel partnered with and didn’t work against the Universe, and it (or “he” or “she”) didn’t fail to deliver for her.
- Enjoy the journey: Despite the ups and downs of her journey and times she was straight-up pissed off, Rachel is allowing herself to enjoy her journey. Particularly in this stage of her life, Rachel is “allowing [herself] to experience life as it comes at [her] and maybe even try to appreciate being in a phase of life [she] often hoped for during those many years of unrelenting singledom!” Sometimes, enjoying your journey requires you to pause and soak it all in… I learned this firsthand at the finish line in my first half marathon (see Week 71: 325 Pounds to Half Marathon).
I will miss my weekly dose of the Clarity on Fire podcast, but I couldn’t be happier for Rachel. This new chapter of her life is exciting and, literally, a dream come true for her. I will follow Rachel’s lead and be open to whatever the Universe sends me to fill my weekly Clarity on Fire time.
Do you have a big goal inside you that you’re looking to let out? Do you want a partner to help you balance what you think you want with what the Universe thinks you need? I am a certified Master Life Coach, and my specialty is helping you use your goals to build the life of your dreams. I would be honored to help you unlock a little more happiness in your life.
I believe in you; let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
Breathe new life into your goals
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