Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.
Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success … whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
I am thinking about getting a pet termite…
I already have a name picked out… Clint.
Clint Eats Wood.
A Binge-Watching Favorite Reveals Unexpected Goal-Crushing Secrets
“One person’s annoying is another’s inspiring and heroic.”
Leslie Knope, Parks & Recreation
With the heat wave rolling through and a surprise injury slowing me down, I’ve been spending more time indoors over the past couple weeks. That’s meant catching up on some of my favorite shows, including Parks and Recreation.
What surprised me? Between the laughs and the waffles, I started noticing some powerful lessons. Hidden behind the humor are insights that could help anyone build momentum and crush their goals.
This week, I’m sharing 10 of the biggest goal-crushing lessons I spotted while watching Parks and Recreation. And we will start off with three Ron Swanson quotes.
Lesson #1: Focus On One Priority Goal At A Time
Leslie was busy running for election to city council while still maintaining her job leading the parks department. While splitting her time, her lack of focus was causing her to make mistakes in both. Ron Swanson encouraged her to take a sabbatical from her job to focus on her campaign, but she resisted. Ron told her a hilarious story about attempting to work at a sheet metal factory and a leather tannery while finishing middle school, causing him to make mistakes.
Ron’s advice to Leslie was, “never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.”
The lesson here is that multi-tasking doesn’t work. If you are splitting your focus and time between multiple things, you won’t perform as well at any of them. Prioritize your most important goal, focus on it until it is achieved, celebrate success and then move to the next.
Side note: this lesson also encapsulates why so many projects fail in corporate settings, splitting focus across multiple projects / priorities. Corporate project management often says, “you are working 40 hours this week, you can spend 10 hours each on 4 projects.” But, the switching back and forth comes at a cost, and both productivity and project success rates plummet.
Lesson #2: Ignore What’s Not Important to You
If Ron Swanson is anything, it is a stoic, understated, self-confident guy. When presented with a challenge about whose management philosophy is better (his or his boss), he voices his opinion about the outcome of the challenge.
His point of view is, “I don’t want to seem overdramatic but I really don’t care what happens here.”
While this is funny for sure, an interesting goal success strategy is hidden inside this statement. This lesson pairs well with the prior quote from Ron.
As I mentioned in the previous lesson, the recipe for success is to focus on one priority at a time. This means letting go of the other items for a while. You can’t have one foot in and one foot out and hope for success. Either it is your priority, or it is not. If it is not your priority, don’t invest energy in it.
Embrace letting go (or, as Mark Manson explains, Not Giving A F*ck) and say goodbye to the FOMO!
Lesson #3: Success Doesn’t Require Luck, It Requires Work
After a coworker Tom, sells his side business, he has money to invest in his next venture. But, he isn’t sure what business opportunity to pursue next, so he plans to construct a focus group of sorts to pitch him some business ideas. When Tom shares this plan with Ron, Ron is supportive and says it sounds like an efficient use of the free market.
To avoid being included in the focus group, Ron wishes Tom well and attempts to go about his day free from a meeting. His supportive message to Tom was, “I’d wish you the best of luck, but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”
Well said, Ron!
Success with goals isn’t reserved for the lucky. Goal success requires a proven, efficient process (see Project Manage Your Life) and hard work to achieve your goal. No lottery tickets needed!
A healthier perspective on the role of luck was shared by the Roman philosopher Seneca. He believes “luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” This means that hard work is required, so you are ready when opportunities present themselves. In other words, we make our own luck!
Lesson #4: You Define YOU, Your Biography Does Not
Ok, that’s enough Ron Swanson for now… he will be back later. Let’s shift gears a bit and take a look at a quote from Leslie Knope.
To help bring attention to her run for City Council, Leslie wrote a book, Pawnee: The greatest town in America. When promoting her book, Leslie appeared on a local television show, Pawnee Today, hoping to get an Oprah-like endorsement of her book from host Joan Callamezzo. But, the appearance backfires, and Joan, in a gotcha-style, declares that the book is factually inaccurate. Joan claims that Leslie is not really from Pawnee at all but from neighboring rival town Eagleton.
Leslie is dumbfounded by the claim as she is the biggest Pawnee lover and advocate around. She later confronts her mother to ask if she was born in Eagleton. Her mom confirms she was because the Pawnee hospital was overrun by raccoons, and she had to go to Eagleton to give birth.
Leslie returns to Pawnee Today and apologizes for her mistake, having learned the truth. She shares something else that she learned, “It’s not where you’re born. It’s where you’re from.” And, nobody is more from Pawnee than Leslie Knope!
Like Leslie, none of us are in control of our biography. Maybe we believe we were born in the wrong town, to the wrong family, at the wrong time or in the wrong circumstances. But, the circumstances of our biographies do not define us. Obviously, we cannot control our past, especially things that happened before we were born, but we can control our future.
How do we break from where we were born and define where we are from? We can start by figuring out our goals in life and why they are important to us and then create a vision for our future (this is what the Goal Success Quick Start Guide and coaching help you do). Once this is done, we simply live every day in alignment with who we want to be and not where we were born.
Tip: we aren’t entirely powerless regarding where we were born or the circumstances of our biographies. The lens through which we view our past and the story we tell ourselves is within our control. Learn more about changing your story in Stories Are Powerful, What Happens When Don’t Love Yours?
Lesson #5: Messy Is Ok
Next up is a quote from Andy Dwyer when talking to Ron. Ron was explaining that he wouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with a woman he had just met and hit it off with because she was not his type. Because she is a single, working mom with kids, he found her life to be messy.
Andy, despite usually being a goof, shared an impactful piece of advice. “Ron, messy is fun, okay? My whole life is a giant mess and I love it. I mean, look at my hair. I have gum in my hair.”
There are an amazing number of important life lessons in this one quote.
First, just because something isn’t easy and smooth sailing doesn’t mean it isn’t worth pursuing. We are all built to be able to do hard things. Messy is ok if you are pursuing something important to you.
Second, there are three stages to every transformation. There is the “before” stage; this is when you feel called to change. There is the “after” stage when you are living in purposeful alignment with who and what you want to be. Then, there is the third stage, when the transformation is happening. This third stage is known as the messy middle of the transformation.
The middle stage of transformation is called the messy middle because things usually feel messy and uncertain when it is happening. Think of a major home remodeling project when you don’t have a kitchen, wires are sticking out of the wall, and dust is everywhere. But, the messy middle is a required step to accomplish something big and is only temporary. Eventually, the mess will normalize and result in the home, or life, that you want. But, you must brave the “mess” if you’re going to achieve the results.
Finally, Andy’s attitude about his messy life is an inspiration and an excellent reminder for us all. No matter where you are in life or how messy, we can choose to enjoy it. Messiness and setbacks are all temporary and will pass in time, but your misery won’t make them pass faster. Embrace my DAMN approach for your setbacks, and then seek gratitude and joy in your life (see Don’t Panic Over Disappointments… See Their Hidden Opportunities Instead).
Lesson #6: Conquer Your Imposter Syndrome
While Andy was generally positive, he isn’t immune to the same self-doubt as we all feel from time to time. After getting a new job in England, Andy briefly returned to Pawnee and told his wife April that he didn’t want to go back. He was scared to return to his job because he was overwhelmed and felt like he had no idea what he was doing. Andy was suffering from imposter syndrome.
April comforted Andy with some advice that is valuable for all of us. “I’m gonna tell you a secret about everyone else’s job…. No one knows what they’re doing…. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out. And you will too, because you are awesome and everyone else sucks.”
We all have occasional imposter syndrome when we feel like we have no idea what we are doing and will be found out at any time. But, this is just a sign that you are trying something new and haven’t mastered it yet. It is perfectly normal, and the best strategy to conquer imposter syndrome is to remember that you are an expert learner and have mastered hard things before. You will this time too.
A second good reminder in this quote is that we should each remember that we are awesome, and anybody who doesn’t see our awesomeness sucks!
Lesson #7: Don’t Go It Alone
One person who always knows that she is awesome is Leslie; like you, she can accomplish anything.
For example, Leslie was in charge of a major fundraiser event for the parks department. Just then, the Pawnee government was surprised by a state disaster preparedness drill. The drill would require all the government leaders to be sequestered, taking her away from everything she still had to do to make the fundraiser a success.
Leslie’s coworkers and friends came together and finished the preparations despite many significant challenges so the fundraiser could go on. At the event, Leslie announced that the event had achieved its goal, and she thanked the team, saying, “no one achieves anything alone.”
This quote reminds us that we shouldn’t, and can’t, go alone with our goals. Having partners who we can rely on to help us through our journeys can make the difference between success and failure. Find an accountability partner, build your team of experts and get started on your road to transformation.
Lesson #8: Embrace Failure And Always Fail Forward
I mentioned earlier that Tom had sold his business and was talking to Ron about what to do next. That is when Tom confided in Ron that he felt like his business was a failure. This feeling was causing him to be a little gun-shy about taking the next step because he didn’t want to fail again.
That’s when Ron shared his view of failure, “there’s no shame in failure if you gave it an honest effort.”
We can’t fear failure and expect to accomplish our biggest transformational goals. Failure is a necessary step in the process of succeeding. A failure is something to learn from that can help you be more successful in the future. That is, of course, assuming that you did your best to succeed.
The only true failure is not trying; that’s how your goals die of loneliness.
Lesson #9: Be Proud Of Your Accomplishments
After Leslie was successfully elected to a role on the Pawnee city council, she moved into her new office. She was giving her friend, Anne, a tour of her newly decorated council office, including her “wall of inspirational women.” Anne noticed that the wall included a picture of Leslie herself. When Anne asked her about the photo, that’s when Leslie shared the next quote.
She said, “I am big enough to admit that I am often an inspiration to myself.”
Shouldn’t we all have a wall of inspirational people that features a picture of ourselves? Think about all of the progress we have each made since we were born. From simple things like learning to walk to our present-day lives, we have accomplished a lot. Pretty damn inspirational, right?
Reflecting on these inspirational accomplishments is a great way to measure your progress and success in life. As I explained in Don’t Panic Over Disappointments… See Their Hidden Opportunities Instead, measuring success against what you have accomplished instead of some future ideal state is the recipe for happiness.
Reflect on your accomplishments, be proud of them and go ahead and carve your own face on your personal Mount Rushmore. You are a badass!
Lesson #10: Be Confident In Yourself
Spending time reflecting on what you have accomplished so far is a good way to build confidence in your ability to do anything in the future. This is the basis for the final lesson I want to share today.
April walked into Ron’s office, and he was sitting perfectly stationary in his chair. The next day he was sitting in the same spot. That’s when April learned that Ron had a hernia and couldn’t move. She offered to take him to the hospital, and he said yes. But, having ridden her bike to work that day, she had to go home and get her car.
When April returned, she asked Ron if he was ready, and he responded, “I was born ready. I’m Ron f%$king Swanson.”
Ron’s reply was a good example of the confidence we should each have in ourselves. We are each amazing and can accomplish anything we set our minds to. If we embrace this amazingness and let ourselves show a little self-confident swagger, we can be unstoppable.
Remember who you are… then,
- Set a big, SMART goal
- Build a plan that works for you
- Track and celebrate progress every day
- Plan ahead for setbacks, so they don’t knock you off your game
- Don’t go it alone
- And, always enjoy your journey
I believe in you and hope that you believe in you. If you need a little help, look me up, and I will help get you to the finish line. I know that I can help because I am Coach F%$king Tony!
Ready to Unlock Your Ron Swanson Confidence?
Are you tired of feeling stuck, burned out, and like life is controlling you instead of you controlling it?
You don’t need magical reinvention or massive action… you need a new approach. One that has been proven successful with people just like you. That’s exactly why I created Project Manage Your Life (PMYL).
PMYL isn’t just a motivational pep talk. It’s a full system to help you:
- Get clear on what you want
- Build a flexible, realistic action plan
- Adjust like a pro when life inevitably throws you curveballs
- Actually finish what you start
Here’s how you can get started:
📘 Grab the Free PMYL eBook
Get the complete Project Manage Your Life process, including my proven six-step framework. It’s the same method I use with coaching clients and it’s yours free as my way of saying “you’ve got this.” Click here to grab your eBook.
📝 Take It Further with the PMYL Workbook
This isn’t your average fill-in-the-blank worksheet. The workbook includes all the tools, templates, and exercises I use in real coaching sessions to help you go deeper, get focused, and make things happen. Click here to grab a paperback or interactive PDF workbook.
💬 Work With Me 1:1
Want personalized support and accountability? I offer a limited number of PMYL coaching spots for people ready to move from stuck to unstoppable. Together, we’ll build momentum, break through roadblocks, and create a life that actually works for you.
👉 Grab your copy of the Project Manage Your Life system and start managing your life like the high-stakes, high-reward project it truly is.
No more guessing. No more going it alone. Let’s build your roadmap together.
I am Coach F%$king Tony and I am ready to help you unlock your next chapter.
✨ I believe in you. Let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success — one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
Ready to Move Your Goals from Someday to Success?
Sign up for free access to exclusive resources, updates, and your FREE full copy of Project Manage Your Life … the proven system to achieve your biggest goals one step at a time.
Meet Coach Tony