Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.
Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success … whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
It must be tough to be the guy who invented the number zero… he died being remembered for nothing.
Are You a Boiled Frog Without Realizing It?
Life doesn’t always fall apart all at once. Sometimes, it gets harder one small degree at a time.
This week’s Ask Coach Tony post brings back one of my most-read blogs and one of the most powerful metaphors I’ve ever shared. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, overcommitted, or quietly stuck in survival mode, this one’s worth revisiting.
Let’s talk about how to recognize the signs, take back control, and avoid becoming the metaphorical frog in the pot.
Do you know how to boil a frog?
I promise that today’s post isn’t a recipe and that no frogs were harmed in the writing of this. It is a fable about a significant issue that could impact us all if we aren’t careful.
You have two choices if you want to boil a frog: one works and one doesn’t.
- If you toss a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will immediately jump out, and you will have vegan frog stew.
- If you put a frog into a pot of room temperature water and then bring it to a boil, you will have one well-cooked frog. The frog can’t tell that the temperature is slowly increasing, and he is in danger, so he doesn’t protect himself.
Sound familiar?
Have you ever realized too late that you are in a pickle that you could have prevented if you had just felt the water temperature increasing?
Boiled frog stew. Pickles. Clearly I’m just hungry… but seriously, let’s talk.
Is It Getting Warm?
Throughout my career, I have been trained, certified, and practiced various management methodologies and skills.
- I have learned how to manage big changes.
- I have been certified in the Influencer model for influencing people.
- I have been trained in situational leadership.
- I have been trained in the R Factor, also known as E+R=O.
However, all of these skills depend on one thing: knowing when it is time to use them.
To put it another way, you need to be aware that the water is starting to warm up.
The reality of our lives is that we make it harder for ourselves to feel the temperature rising. Many of us have overflowing to-do lists that we will never get through. We overplan our days with back-to-back schedules that barely give us five minutes to use the bathroom. We are all trying to do more with less, which keeps becoming less and less.
We are oversaturated with commitments, meetings, thoughts, problems and stress. Is it feeling warm in here?
The biggest problem with our over-saturated schedules is that they lead to over-saturated brains. We are just trying to keep up and are playing defense. We don’t have a minute to think and process the events around us. This means that we fail to connect the dots between events, and we overlook the context and perspective. Don’t even get me started on what this does to our physical health and fitness.
We are all becoming boiled frogs.
We can’t control the fact that the water temperature is rising, so how can we calibrate our thermometers?
Think Time
I’m back-to-back-to-back today; how do I even find a minute to think?
The most important first step you can take to ensure you know how warm the water is getting is to give yourself some think time. Look at your schedule for the week and try to add some blank space between your commitments. Strive to add one hour of free time for every three or four hours of commitments.
Simply adding some blank space allows your mind to decompress and process a bit.
Press Pause
Wait, what just happened, and what do I need to do about it?
I mentioned the R Factor earlier, which states that events, combined with your response to them, drive outcomes, or E+R=O. The first, and arguably most important, step in the R model is called “press pause.” That means stopping when an event occurs to consider what response is required of you to achieve the desired outcome (not just reacting on impulse). This is the second strategy that can help you evaluate the temperature of the water around you.
When something unusual, unexpected or unfortunate happens, pause for a second to consider the realities of the situation around you.
Evaluate the facts you have witnessed and consider what the next right step is.
By pausing to evaluate the situation instead of reacting on autopilot, you have the opportunity to assess whether the water is getting warmer.
Process
Did that thing that happened today have any relationship to that thing that happened last week?
Not all events can be fully processed in the moment. When you are trying to determine what is really happening around you, you may need a little more perspective. You may need a little more distance to consider all the facts in their totality and properly connect the dots, rather than just processing everything transactionally.
If you need to process things more holistically and move beyond the issue at hand, you may want to consider journaling. By spending some time every day contemplating and writing what is happening in your life, you can get a little more distance. Journaling about the things happening around you allows you to consider the events more objectively.
Frogs don’t know when the water around them is heating up, and so they turn into frog soup. You don’t have to face the same fate. By giving yourself some space and taking the time to think about the things going on around you, you can connect the dots and judge the temperature of the water.
So… how warm is your water right now?
If your days feel too full, your brain feels fried, or you haven’t had space to think clearly, that’s your cue. This isn’t just about managing stress. It’s about protecting your energy so you can pursue the goals that matter most.
You don’t need to wait for burnout to make a change. Notice the heat, hit pause, and create space to breathe, think, and move forward with purpose.
That’s how you boil up momentum instead of boiling over.
Let’s Turn Down The Heat… Together
Is your pot warming up?
Do you need some help turning down the heat?
What you need is a new strategy to take control of your goals and build momentum toward the life you’ve always dreamed of.
That’s exactly why I created Project Manage Your Life (PMYL).
PMYL isn’t just a motivational pep talk. It’s a full system to help you:
- Get clear on what you want
- Build a flexible, realistic action plan
- Adjust like a pro when life inevitably throws you curveballs
- Actually finish what you start
Here’s how you can get started:
📘 Grab the Free PMYL eBook
Get the complete Project Manage Your Life process, including my proven six-step framework. It’s the same method I use with coaching clients, and it’s yours free as my way of saying “you’ve got this.” Click here to grab your eBook.
📝 Take It Further with the PMYL Workbook
This isn’t your average fill-in-the-blank worksheet. The workbook includes all the tools, templates, and exercises I use in real coaching sessions to help you go deeper, get focused, and make things happen. Click here to grab a paperback or interactive PDF workbook.
💬 Work With Me 1:1
Want personalized support and accountability? I offer a limited number of PMYL coaching spots for people ready to move from stuck to unstoppable. Together, we’ll build momentum, break through roadblocks, and create a life that actually works for you.
👉 Grab your copy of the Project Manage Your Life system and start managing your life like the high-stakes, high-reward project it truly is.
No more guessing. No more going it alone. No more boiling water. Let’s build your roadmap together.
✨ I believe in you. Let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success — one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
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Meet Coach Tony