You’ve been taught to avoid the F word. To hide it. To pretend it didn’t happen.
That strategy is exactly why your goals keep stalling.
Hi, I’m Coach Tony. This is a Project Manage Your Life (PMYL) Pro Tip. It’s one of the tools I use to help people set better goals, stay consistent, and actually finish what they start.
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Something Went Wrong. Say the F Word. Then Do This.
The next few weeks at Operation Melt will be focused on the taboo “F” word.
Not the one that might have just popped into your head. This “F” word is even more divisive. I’m talking about failure.
This month, we will be focusing on The Power of the F Word.
Instead of dreading, fearing, and avoiding the F word, I want to help you see failing as succeeding. And that starts with this week’s Project Manage Your Life Pro Tip.
Failure Happens, And That’s Ok
As a goal-crusher, coach, and professional project manager, I can tell you that failure happens.
Projects, whether in a business setting or when you Project Manage Your Life, are complex. When you are moving fast, operating outside your comfort zone, and trying new things, there are countless ways for things to go wrong. And that’s ok. It is part of the process.
Fortunately, after more than two decades of managing projects, I have learned a simple two-step process for managing these failures when they happen.
First, you say it. Then, you do it.
Go Ahead, Say the F Word
All too often, we avoid acknowledging that a failure has even happened.
We pretend it’s not happening.
We hide it from other people, and ourselves.
We don’t even say the word.
When you don’t know or admit that a failure has happened, how can you possibly move forward in a better way?
I know it might be scary, embarrassing or counter-intuitive, but the first step in managing failure is to say it. Maybe even celebrate it.
That means, when something goes sideways, your response should be, “yep, I failed and that’s ok because I’m going to learn from this.”
If saying this feels uncomfortable, just remind yourself that the most successful goal crushers fail forward. That means that every failure helps them move closer to a win.
Now Do This
Saying that you’ve failed and that you’re going to learn from it is an important first step. But, as powerful as words are, goal crushing requires action. You said, “I’m going to learn from this.” It’s time to make that happen.
In the project management world, there’s a technique known as a postmortem. This is when something goes wrong, and you pause to review how it happened and how to prevent it in the future. A postmortem turns a problem into an opportunity for improvement in the future.
A postmortem is a valuable tool for personal failures too.
After you have admitted that you’ve failed, get a pen and notebook and start writing. Ask yourself five “why” questions to get to the root cause:
- Why do you think you failed?
- Why did that situation happen?
- And why did that happen?
- Keep going. Why did that happen?
- One more time. Why did that happen?
Once you have asked yourself five “why” questions, you will likely be at the root cause of your failure.
Then ask yourself what you would do differently in the future. There are no wrong answers, just jot down what’s in your head.
This whole exercise should only take about five minutes or so.
Once you have named the failure, identified the root cause, and what you would do differently next time, there is just one more step in the exercise.
It’s time to act!
Take one immediate step to get your goal moving again.
Failures are temporary setbacks and learning experiences to help you build momentum. They aren’t final.
Get back out there and crush that goal… this time with more knowledge and experience!
Let’s All Say the F-Word Together
Are you avoiding saying the F word?
Here’s an important goal-crushing secret: the F word isn’t taboo. Naming and embracing failures as a valuable step in the process is what sets expert-level goal crushers apart from their peers.
Changing your F word mindset is easier when you’re saying the F word with other people.
That’s why I am hosting our next Goal Crusher Coffee Chat.
The Power of the F Word
Why failing is succeeding
In this session, I will share the three things that come up most in my coaching sessions when clients and I tackle failure together.
Then, during our roundtable, we will each answer one simple question:
What is a failure that taught you more than success ever could?
If you’re ready to start embracing the F word, this conversation is for you.
Click below or visit OperationMelt.com/CoffeeChat to save your spot for this free event.
You’ve probably already failed at something this week. Maybe something small. Maybe something that’s been nagging at you. Instead of burying it, try this: say the F word. Then do a five-minute postmortem. Take one step. That’s it. That’s how goal-crushers are built.
You’re here for a reason. Let’s take the next step.
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success… one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
Meet Coach Tony