There’s a window when every new goal is most likely to quietly die. It’s shorter than you think, and it has nothing to do with willpower.
Here’s how my clients close it before it ever opens.
Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
Hi, I’m Coach Tony, and this is Ask Coach Tony.
These are unfiltered field notes from the goal-crushing life: coaching wins, personal breakthroughs, and the failures that taught both me and my clients the most. All real, all useful, all here to help you move forward.
Got a goal that’s dying of loneliness? Just Ask Coach Tony.
Ready for a dad joke?
Before we dive in, here's a groan-worthy dad joke as a little palate cleanser. I promise it will be worth every penny you paid for it. 😂
A chicken, a horse, a cricket, a beetle and a calf walk into a bar.
The bartender says: man, we really gotta fix that door!
The 24 Hours That Decide Whether Your New Goal Survives
Hey Goal Crusher, welcome to Ask Coach Tony.
This week we’re continuing our focus on the solo versus symphony approach to your goal journey.
As a reminder, when you use the solo approach, you’re on your own. Every note, every beat, every step relies on you and you alone.
On the other hand, when you treat your goals as a symphony, your journey harmonizes with a full orchestra of supporters.
I know which one sounds better to me.
In today’s Ask Coach Tony, I’ll share how I help my clients avoid a common gap in the goal-setting process and start building their symphony from day one. I’ll even show you how to try it at home without being a client.
Step Inside My Coaching
I want to start today’s Ask Coach Tony with a look inside my coaching process. I promise it’s relevant.
Coaching starts with a discovery session. We talk about where you are, where you want to go, and any questions you have about how coaching works. Then come two decisions: Is coaching a good fit for your goals? Am I a good fit for you? If yes, we make it official with a coaching agreement and your payment.
Next you complete an intake form. It helps me get to know you before we ever talk goals. Then we have our first coaching session. I recap what I learned from your intake form, and we map out what our work together will look like.
Over the next few sessions, you work through the Initiation section of my Project Manage Your Life Workbook. This is where you refine and finalize your goal. It culminates in your goal project charter. I’m with you every step.
Once you’ve committed to a goal, it’s time to build your roadmap to crush it. Using the workbook again, your roadmap covers what you will and won’t do, your milestones, and, most importantly for today, your plan for how to talk about your goal with other people.
The roadmap is where you officially expand your goal from a solo to a symphony.
Once your roadmap is done, it’s time to work it. You execute two weeks at a time in a process I call Sprinting to Success.
The Gap: Danger Time
My coaching process works. Initiation, roadmap, execution, it’s a solid sequence. But there’s a gap hiding inside it. A gap that can leave your goal exposed at its most vulnerable moment. Here’s how.
In my last Ask Coach Tony, I talked about a trap high-achievers fall into: back burner syndrome. It’s my nickname for how high-achievers put their own goals on the back burner to deliver for everyone else. It’s one of the most common ways goals die of loneliness.
When a high-achiever shares their goal with someone else, it moves back to the front burner fast. That’s the power of symphony over solo.
Here’s the gap. In the process I described, there’s real distance between committing to your goal and creating your plan to tell other people about it. Those two points can be one or two coaching sessions apart. That might mean a month of trying to play solo with a brand new goal.
A month is plenty of time for back burner syndrome to take over.
My Front Burner Strategy
I refuse to let back burner syndrome derail my clients’ goals.
This is why I built more than just the goal and the why into the process. When we create your project charter together, my Project Manage Your Life Workbook adds two more sections to it: reinforcement and quick start actions.
Quick start actions are steps you take right after committing to your goal, while you’re still building your roadmap. They create momentum before the roadmap is even done.
The Reinforcement section asks for two things within the first week of committing to your goal (though I prefer clients do it within the hour). First, write your goal on a sticky note and put it somewhere you’ll see it constantly. There’s no forgetting about your goal when you work with me.
Second, and most important to this month’s theme, accountability partners. I ask my clients to immediately share their goal with one or two trusted people who will support them and help hold them accountable. This action doesn’t replace your broader communication plan. It just jumpstarts it and keeps back burner risk at bay until that plan is built.
I’m not saying tell the whole world about your brand new, fragile goal. I am saying tell one or two people you trust completely. You don’t need to play this solo, not even for one day.
Try This At Home
If you’re working with me in coaching, I will absolutely be one of your accountability partners. I won’t let your goal anywhere near the back burner. That’s my job, and as my clients will tell you, I’m good at it.
But you don’t need to be my client to put this strategy to work. You can try this at home, no coach required. Here’s the four-step process:
- Figure out what your goal is and why it matters to you. Write it down. Don’t just keep it in your head.
- Post your goal somewhere you’ll see it constantly.
- Tell someone you trust about your goal as soon as you have it.
- Pick one or two meaningful quick start actions and start building momentum today.
These four steps pack the field-tested strategies that keep a goal alive during its most fragile first few days.
Want the full DIY version? Grab a copy of my Project Manage Your Life Workbook. It’s the same process and tools I use with clients.
If you want a little guidance but aren’t ready for one-on-one coaching, the Project Manage Your Life Starter Kit is an excellent fit. It’s a bundle: my Project Manage Your Life eBook, the workbook as an interactive PDF, and a short email mini course to help you navigate the first 21 days of your goal. That’s when most goals fail.
Strength in Numbers
Personal goals are fragile, especially brand new ones. That’s why we have to protect them until they can stand on their own.
Fortunately, there’s strength in numbers.
Treat your goal as a symphony instead of a solo, and your odds of success go up. Way up. That’s why you need a team to help you crush what matters most.
In our next Goal Crusher Coffee Chat, we’ll start building your team together to help get you to the finish line.
In this session, I will open up my Coach’s Notebook and share the practices that work best for my clients when they build their goal-crushing teams.
Then, in our informal roundtable discussion, we will each answer one simple question:
What’s one goal you’ve been playing solo that could use a little harmony?
If you’re ready to stop playing solo and make a beautiful goal-crushing symphony, this event is for you.
Did you miss this coffee chat? Don’t panic. I host a new Goal Crusher Coffee Chat every month. Visit OperationMelt.com/CoffeeChat for the details about the next chat.
You don’t have to wait for a perfect plan to stop playing solo. The moment you commit to a goal is the moment to start building your team, one sticky note and one trusted person at a time. Stop waiting for “one day.” Start your symphony now and make this day one.
You’re here for a reason. Let’s take the next step.
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success… one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
Meet Coach Tony