Hello, I am Coach Tony… Welcome to Operation Melt!
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
Ask Me Anything…
In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals.
Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.
Amuse Bouche
Before we get to today’s post, I offer you this light “amuse-bouche” to entertain your mind before we get down to business. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate my “dad joke,” but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right?
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan? You take away their little brooms.
Ask Coach Tony: How Do I Stop Undermining My Confidence?
Coach Tony: I have goals and have followed the process to make them attainable. I know my why, have my vision statement and have a plan that should work for me. But I have noticed a pattern that’s getting in my way. I keep undermining myself with negativity, imposter syndrome and other things that hurt my confidence. How can I stop undermining myself and stay focused on my goals?
We can be real jerks to ourselves, can’t we?
We can be on the right path and coasting towards achieving our wildest dreams. Suddenly our brains come up with a different plan. We start saying things to ourselves that we would never say to somebody else. Before we know it, we have torpedoed our confidence, are off track, and that goal seems out of reach.
It sucks!
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. You can choose to be a friend to yourself instead of being your own worst enemy.
With one simple hack, you can start unlocking this self-friendship and stop undermining yourself. Even better, this hack only takes about five minutes per day.
What Do You Need To Hear?
Have you ever felt down and your confidence low and a conversation with a friend completely turned your mood around? We have all been there. You walk away from that conversation feeling determined and unstoppable.
There is no magic to this phenomenon. The magic is the simplicity of having a friend who believes in you telling you as much. It is reinforcement and kindness. This same reinforcement and kindness are part of why coaching is such an effective tool to help you achieve your goals.
This means that the first step to treating yourself like a friend is to ask yourself one simple question.
What would I want my best friend to say to me every day that would encourage me, motivate me and lift me up?
That’s it. That’s the magic question. What do you need to hear from your friends that will serve as an effective antidote to your self-undermining? You don’t need a long list; 3-5 powerful statements are enough.
Now, Speak Up
Now that you know what you need to hear from your friends, why wait on them to say those things to you. If you want to be a friend to yourself, these statements are a great place to begin.
Am I saying that you should talk to yourself? Yes! You already talk to yourself (what do you think negative self-talk is?), I am simply suggesting that you change the script.
Here’s how to do it…. It starts with those 3-5 powerful “what do I need to hear” statements.
Write your three statements on an index card or PostIt note. Then hang that PostIt note in a visible location where you will see it every day. When you see these statements, read them to yourself, preferably out loud.
An ideal location to hang your note is on your bathroom mirror. This will let you start every day by telling yourself the things you need to hear to motivate you for the day ahead. Maybe even give yourself a classic Mel Robbins high-five in the mirror after you read your statements.
Any time you start to feel that inner critic reappear, stop what you are doing and read those powerful statements.
Before you know it, you will be your own best friend, and you will be unstoppable! I believe in you; do you believe in yourself?
Ask Me Anything!
Do you have a question you would like to submit for a future Ask Coach Tony post?
- Do you want to know more about me?
- Do you want to know more about my weight loss journey?
- Do you want to know more about my books or my creative process?
- Do you have a question about how to achieve your goals?
- Do you want to know more about coaching?
Whatever your question, I am here to help. Ask Me Anything!
If you want to have a deeper conversation and get more one-on-one help, click here to learn more about my Operation Melt coaching services.
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