Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.
Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success … whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
I have the heart of a lion, the eye of a tiger, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Is It Time to Outgrow My Most Annoying Trait?
If you know me, you know I’m very self-aware… maybe even a little too much.
Like many of you, I replay conversations at 3am… over-analyzing every word that came out of my mouth. You other high-achievers will likely recognize my self-talk:
- Did I sound stupid?
- Did I offend that person?
- Did I overshare?
- Was I too much?
- What I wish I had said was _____.
This heightened sense of self-awareness means that I am fully in tune with my most polarizing quality: I don’t take life super seriously. I am always trying to make people (mostly myself) laugh, especially with bad puns and inappropriate (often dark) jokes and my “dad joke” sense of humor.
While I find my sense of humor hilarious (oh, and I’m wicked smart and dead sexy too), this may not be a good place for self-assessment. I know there are people who don’t share my assessment.
Some people hate my constant joking.
Some people get annoyed by it.
Some people choose just to tune me out.
Does that mean it’s time to grow up and tone it down?
Maybe this story will help illustrate my thinking.
Real-Life Ratings & Reviews
In a not-entirely-unusual turn of events, my wife and I ended up at the same restaurant for a Friday happy hour, dinner and Saturday happy hour all in the same weekend. While it’s one of our favorite Columbus haunts, we seldom end up drinking/dining there as frequently as the weekend in question.
Exacerbating our repeat visits was the fact that the same bartender served us every time: Holly. We have known Holly for several years from multiple restaurants, and she knows us pretty well. She knows us well enough that “customer service mode” is not required with us; she can speak her mind and is welcome to tell me to shut up without judgment.
Saturday at Holly’s bar, Liz and I were hanging out with a friend and cracking jokes. These are the moments when my sense of humor gets turned up to 11. I’ve got an audience… and I go all in.
This week was no exception.
I came in hot.
I was on fire.
I was unstoppable.
While enjoying our drinks, I made a few particularly bad (and inappropriate) jokes to Holly. When I acknowledged the bad jokes, Holly said, “I like them. I’ve always loved you guys!”
Sure, it’s possible she was just being nice. But, after years of seeing Holly in her element with many customers, we have learned the difference between “honest Holly” and “just being nice Holly.” This was “honest Holly.”
My most polarizing (and most annoying) feature had just received a 5-star rating.
The Power of Authenticity
My review from Holly reminded me of something we high-achievers struggle with every day: people-pleasing.
We all have a choice to make each day: who are we going to try to make happy today?
Trying to make everyone happy usually means watering down who we really are.
We lose our authenticity.
We become boring and bland.
Sure, we don’t offend anybody’s sensibilities, but we also don’t get to be happy with ourselves.
If YOU aren’t happy with YOU, what’s the point?
Granted, my sense of humor isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. But I am reminded of a saying I’ve seen all over the place: I’d rather be somebody’s shot of whiskey than everybody’s cup of tea.
It’s easier to be genuinely happy when I can look in the mirror and know I’m just being me.
Putting my authentic energy out there means I will naturally attract my tribe. Instead of trying to fit in with everybody, I will become a magnet for people who love me for who I am… even if that is a bad, inappropriate, dad-joke-spewing guy who is overly entertained by his own jokes.
Making Smart Investments
We all have limited energy, and we get to decide how we use it. Are we spending it… or investing it?
Embracing authenticity is an effective energy investment strategy… and it pays big dividends. I will explain by using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (click here to learn about the Hierarchy of Needs).
When watering down your authentic personality to fit in with others, you are spending your energy at lower levels of the pyramid, like Safety and Social Belonging needs. That’s like spending all your money on fast food and lattes. It might feel good in the moment, but it won’t help you grow.
On the other hand, investing in your authentic self is like grabbing Apple stock in the 80s. That’s where the real growth happens.
We all have choices… let’s choose to be ourselves and invest in our own happiness.
Let’s stop choosing to play small and trying to fit in.
Let Your Goals be Your Compass
Picture this: you have goals that matter to you, and you are building the life of your dreams one step at a time.
How are you going to react when your brain says, “maybe you should tone down your personality and try fitting in”?
You’re going to say, “I don’t have time for that shit!”
Need help setting goals and unlocking your authentic self energy? That’s exactly why I created Project Manage Your Life (PMYL).
PMYL isn’t just a motivational pep talk. It’s a full system to help you:
- Get clear on what you want
- Build a flexible, realistic action plan
- Adjust like a pro when life inevitably throws you curveballs
- Actually finish what you start
Here’s how you can get started:
📘 Grab the Free PMYL eBook
Get the complete Project Manage Your Life process, including my proven six-step framework. It’s the same method I use with coaching clients, and it’s yours free as my way of saying “you’ve got this.” Click here to grab your eBook.
📝 Take It Further with the PMYL Workbook
This isn’t your average fill-in-the-blank worksheet. The workbook includes all the tools, templates, and exercises I use in real coaching sessions to help you go deeper, get focused, and make things happen. Click here to grab a paperback or interactive PDF workbook.
💬 Work With Me 1:1
Want personalized support and accountability? I offer a limited number of PMYL coaching spots for people ready to move from stuck to unstoppable. Together, we’ll build momentum, break through roadblocks, and create a life that actually works for you.
👉 Grab your copy of the Project Manage Your Life system and start managing your life like the high-stakes, high-reward project it truly is.
It’s time to stop working so hard to be who other people want you to be… It’s time to be who YOU want to be.
✨ I believe in you. Let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success — one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
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Meet Coach Tony