Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.
Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success … whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
A man in a swanky restaurant summoned the waiter and said, "waiter, my soup is cold!" The waiter replied empathetically, "It's gazpacho." The man said, "Oh I'm sorry. Gazpacho, my soup is cold!"
The Permission You’re Waiting For Isn’t Coming
This month, my Operation Melt blog is dedicated to helping you unleash the courage to be yourself.
In my Interview with a Goal-Crusher, I shared Alex’s story of having the courage to put herself out there by sharing her first novel. As Alex said, it required vulnerability to allow people to read something that she put her heart and soul into. But she knew that being her authentic self was worth facing the fear.
Then, I shared my story of second-guessing myself and my most annoying trait. That’s when unsolicited validation from a friend reminded me that my authenticity is appreciated… even if it is a little too much for some people.
Today, I am addressing a common issue that often stands in the way of being your authentic self.
This is the third chapter in our August theme, “The Courage to Be You,” tying together the lessons from Alex’s courage to share her novel and my own story about embracing my most annoying trait.
Spoiler alert: you’re going to need permission.
Is It Ok If I…?
Have you ever found yourself stopping to ask permission to do something? Of course, you have.
Would I get in trouble if I started a blog?
Is it ok if I write this book?
Can I call myself a “writer,” “leader,” “coach,” or “athlete”?
Could I sign up to run my first half marathon, even if I have to walk a portion of it?
Would it be wrong if I started this business?
Is it ok to apply for a job when I am not one hundred percent qualified?
We often stop to seek external validation that it is ok to take that next step. This is how we are taught to behave from a young age, especially in school. From speaking to going to the bathroom, we must ask somebody for permission to take that next step.
As we mature, we keep waiting for permission, believing we need to check whether the masters of the universe will approve of our idea.
Warning: Permission can be hazardous to our goals!
Unfortunately, pausing to ask for permission can interrupt our momentum and cause us to second-guess ourselves. This pause may be enough to cause us to pull the plug on a goal that would have become a big success.
Asking permission can prevent us from getting started and cause our goals to die of loneliness.
The Only Rule of Goal Success
Do you know the most important rule about pursuing your goals?
There are no rules!
You make your own rules as long as you aren’t breaking the law or being unethical (of course, some people don’t even stop there!).
Here is a personal example of how quickly asking for permission can turn into giving up our goals.
I once paused to ask if I was allowed to call myself an “author.”
I had written a weekly blog for almost two years and had published a book. But was I really allowed to call myself a writer or an author?
Asking this question triggered me to start discounting my achievements in my quest to seek permission.
- My first book (and my second) was just self-published.
- I had only sold a small number of copies, not thousands.
- My blog was only being read by a small number of people each week.
- It’s just my hobby. Writing isn’t my day job, and I don’t have any formal training or experience as a writer.
The list of ways I’ve told myself I’m not good enough is endless.
Believing you’re “only” or “just” can make your goals a bust!
My internal conversation about calling myself a writer needed to pivot a bit. Here’s my upgraded internal conversation.
Me: Can I call myself an author?
Also Me: Do I do the work? Do I write?
Still Me: FUCK YES, I am an author!
Best of all, putting in the reps is creating results. My writing gets better every day. I was recently reflecting on how proud I am of Seasons of Transformation because it is light years ahead of my early blogs. Plus, I put myself out there and wrote fiction without asking permission to do so.
There are no rules that tell me that I can’t call myself an author! Or athlete! Or coach! Or anything I see myself as.
You Don’t Need Permission
So, whose permission will you need to chase your big goal? Yours!
The only permission that matters is your own. The only rules that matter are your rules.
That means you can stop waiting and start living.
What would happen if you gave yourself permission to be the version of yourself that lights you up?
What if you gave yourself permission to pursue the goals that help build the life of your dreams?
If you have an idea, passion, or calling, give it a try. What’s the best that could happen?
If it is important to you and you are willing to put in the work, who has the right to tell you no? You don’t need anyone else’s permission to pursue and crush your goals… to be who you want to be… to live your best life.
Give yourself permission and get out there and do the work.
Your goals and dreams are just a couple of choices away.
Permission Granted… Now You Need Tools!
Once you give yourself permission to chase your biggest goals, you’ll need the right tools to help you succeed.
Well… you’re in luck. That’s exactly why I created Project Manage Your Life (PMYL).
PMYL isn’t just fluff… it’s a full system to help you:
- Get clear on what you want
- Build a flexible, realistic action plan
- Adjust like a pro when life inevitably throws you curveballs
- Actually finish what you start
Here’s how you can get started:
📘 Grab the Free PMYL eBook
Get the complete Project Manage Your Life process, including my proven six-step framework. It’s the same method I use with coaching clients, and it’s yours free as my way of saying “you’ve got this.” Click here to grab your eBook.
📝 Take It Further with the PMYL Workbook
This isn’t your average fill-in-the-blank worksheet. The workbook includes all the tools, templates, and exercises I use in real coaching sessions to help you go deeper, get focused, and make things happen. Click here to grab a paperback or interactive PDF workbook.
💬 Work With Me 1:1
Want personalized support and accountability? I offer a limited number of PMYL coaching spots for people ready to move from stuck to unstoppable. Together, we’ll build momentum, break through roadblocks, and create a life that actually works for you.
👉 Grab your copy of the Project Manage Your Life system and start managing your life like the high-stakes, high-reward project it truly is.
Now is the time to stop waiting for permission.
Now is the time to stop playing by someone else’s rules.
Now is the time to be the version of you that lights you up!
Stop working so hard to be the “good girl (or boy)” and start being who YOU want to be.
The courage to be you starts with a single YES… today can be that day!
✨ I believe in you. Let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success — one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
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Meet Coach Tony