Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.
Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success … whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said, "Sure … Knock yourself out!"
There Is An “After”
Happy September. This is going to be a big month for Operation Melt.
This month’s blog series is built around one life-changing truth:
There is an after… and it’s yours to create.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking,
“I’m not happy. I want more… but I don’t know if I can or should take the plunge”?
If so, this month is for you.
Each post is designed to show you that there’s always an “after.”
You’re allowed to imagine it. You’re allowed to want it.
And you’re allowed to take the first step, even if you’re not sure how it ends.
The future is yours to build.
So the real question is: will you take the first step or stay stuck where you are?
What I Wish I Had The Courage To Say
All month long, the Operation Melt blog has focused on one life-changing truth:
There is an “after,” and it is yours to create.
Each post has shown that a new chapter is always possible, even when it starts from a place of challenge.
- Miles found himself in a job that had changed and no longer fulfilled him. He was committed to his “after,” but he knew he had to build it from scratch.
- Patti heard the words no one ever wants to hear: “You have cancer.” She never questioned whether there would be an “after.” She just knew she had to begin painting that future for herself.
Both stories came from people who believed in their “after.”
That belief fueled their momentum. It helped them move.
But belief is not always the starting point.
Sometimes you feel stuck in your own head.
You hear yourself thinking:
“I’m not happy. I want more… but I don’t know if I can or should take the plunge.”
Today’s post is about that moment.
This is the moment that sparked the theme for the entire month.
It is a true story. And it is also a moment when I stayed silent.
I wish I had not.
I still think about what I would have said if I had spoken up.
If you are the woman I did not speak to, or if you have ever found yourself in that same place, this post is for you.
My goal is simple.
To show you that you are allowed to imagine what comes next.
You are allowed to want it.
And you are allowed to take the first step, even if you do not know how it ends.
The future is yours to build.
So the real question is:
Will you take the first step or stay stuck where you are?
What I Learned When Eavesdropping
It was a hot Saturday morning, and I had just finished a long, sweaty run. After posting my #Sweaturday update and taking a much-needed shower, I was ready for lunch.
We headed to the wine room, which is our usual Saturday tradition at Indian Lake. One bottle of wine, one charcuterie board, and a seat on the patio. Food, sipping, and a few rounds of Scrabble. I know, wild stuff.
At the next table was a group of six women. They were about my age, maybe a bit older. They were loud. They were buzzed. And they were clearly having a great time.
One NSFW story later, I was fully committed to my eavesdropping duties.
The lion’s share of their conversation was about their marriages. Some had made it work. Some hadn’t. They told stories of betrayal, healing, resentment, laughter, and the everyday messiness of married life, especially for people rooted in a small town.
After a few rounds of storytelling, it became clear what this gathering was really about.
One woman in the group was separated from her husband. She was struggling with whether to end the marriage. The pain (more like uncertainty) was written all over her voice. She wasn’t happy. But even in her unhappiness, she was still hesitating. And her friends were trying to help her sort it out.
Should she leave and invest in her happiness?
Or stay and commit to making it work?
What I Wish I Had Said
As I listened to the woman struggling with her decision, it quickly became clear what was likely fueling her uncertainty. She had been married for a long time. It was the only reality she knew. Single life was far in the past, and divorced life was a complete mystery.
The real decision she was facing was whether to stay with what she knew or take a risk on something completely unknown.
Who would not struggle with that?
This kind of uncertainty is hardwired into our primitive caveman brains. Back then, uncertainty was a matter of life and death. Stay in the cave, or walk out into the unknown and get eaten by a sabretooth tiger. These caveman decisions are still hardwired inside our brains.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. This is a solvable problem that millions of people have conquered. I shared two success stories earlier this month.
In many ways, this woman’s decision about her marriage mirrors the ones Miles and Patti had to make.
They were not unhappy from the beginning, but their situations changed around them. Suddenly, the path forward was no longer obvious.
Miles had to decide what to do when his job no longer felt aligned.
Patti had to figure out what comes after cancer changes everything.
Neither of them knew exactly what their ‘after’ looked like… they had to do the work to imagine it.
They made a plan.
They took the first step.
And now they are living in what used to feel uncertain… and weren’t eaten by any tigers.
Coaching Moment: Visualizing Your “After”
The fastest solution to being paralyzed by uncertainty is to create a vivid mental picture of your “after.”
With a few simple tools and exercises, you can visualize your “after” so you can make informed choices.
And you don’t have to do it alone… there are people like me who are ready to help. Coaches are trained, experienced, and ready to guide you through your visualization and decision process.
That is what I wish I had told the woman in turmoil. But I did not say anything. The group finished their drinks and loudly moved on with their day. And I stayed silent.
I told myself it was none of my business. That I would be overstepping.
My silence might have been the right decision that day.
But I am not staying silent here.
Are you standing at the edge of your own “after” decision?
Maybe you aren’t facing divorce, job change, or illness. But something in your life does not feel right.
You are stuck in something that used to fit but no longer does.
You do not have to stay frozen, waiting for more certainty that may never come. You need to create the clarity that helps you make an informed choice.
You don’t have to make a big life decision today, but you can take a zero-risk first step. You can figure out what “after” could look like. Then you can choose a different path and take your first step toward it.
You are allowed to imagine what comes next.
You are allowed to want it.
And you are allowed to begin.
That is exactly why I created Project Manage Your Life (PMYL).
It helps you step back, evaluate what is and is not working, and begin to reimagine a different path forward.
One that is real.
Specific.
Yours.
PMYL is not fluff. It is a full system designed to help you:
- Get clear on what you want
- Build a flexible, realistic action plan
- Adjust like a pro when life inevitably throws you curveballs
- Actually finish what you start
Here’s how you can get started:
📘 Grab the Free PMYL eBook
Get the complete Project Manage Your Life process, including my proven six-step framework. It’s the same method I use with coaching clients, and it’s yours free as my way of saying “you’ve got this.” Click here to grab your eBook.
📝 Take It Further with the PMYL Workbook
This isn’t your average fill-in-the-blank worksheet. The workbook includes all the tools, templates, and exercises I use in real coaching sessions to help you go deeper, get focused, and make things happen. Click here to grab a paperback or interactive PDF workbook.
💬 Work With Me 1:1
Want personalized support and accountability? I offer a limited number of PMYL coaching spots for people ready to move from stuck to unstoppable. Together, we’ll build momentum, break through roadblocks, and create a life that actually works for you.
👉 Grab your copy of Project Manage Your Life and start treating your life like the high-impact project it really is.
Are you ready to stop hiding in your cave, avoiding fictional sabretooth tigers?
✨ I believe in you. Let me help YOU believe in you!
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success… one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
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Meet Coach Tony