Skip to content

Your Words Shape Your Reality: Why Self-Talk Matters More Than You Think

Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!

This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.

Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success – whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.

Ready for a dad joke?

Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆

I think the brain is the most important organ in the body… but then again, look who’s telling me that! 🧠😂

Your Words Shape Your Reality: Why Self-Talk Matters More Than You Think

We’ve talked about this before, but it’s worth revisiting: the words you say to yourself matter. Your brain listens, believes, and acts on them. So, let’s cut the self-sabotage and start using that power for good.

Always Listening

Negative self-talk

I hear it all the time:

  • “I’m such an idiot!”
  • “I’m old and tired.”
  • “I’m not a good leader.”
  • “I could never do that.”

Sound familiar?

Your brain hears these too – and it believes you. What starts as a joke becomes your reality because your brain treats your words like commands.

Programming Your Brain

Meet your Reticular Activating System (RAS) – the brain’s bouncer. It filters what gets your attention. Tell your RAS something is important, and it will find it everywhere. Thinking of buying a Honda Accord? Suddenly, you see them everywhere.

Now imagine telling your RAS, “I’m a failure.”

Your brain is listening

Guess what it starts collecting evidence for? Yeah, not ideal.

Flip the Script

Good news: you are the author of the script of your own life. This means you can reprogram your brain.

Reprogramming your brain

Here’s how:

  1. Set one clear goal. (If everything is a priority, nothing is.)
  2. Write it down and keep it visible. Your RAS will stay locked in on it.

Need help setting a goal? Grab my free Goal Success Quick Start Guide to learn my ABCD goal-setting method. This book will help you create goals that actually work.


Now… back to this post…


Silence the Lies

Once you have goals, it’s time to be on the lookout for obstacles… they are out there.

Look out for obstacles

Pay attention to your negative self-talk. Look for phrases like:

  • “I am…”
  • “I’m just…”
  • “I can’t…”

Once you spot them, flip them into affirmations. My Silencing the Lies exercise can help you turn those inner critic lies into truths that empower you.

Silencing the Lies Worksheet
(click to download)

Your brain is a powerful ally when programmed right. Need help? I’m here to coach you through it. Download my Goal Success Quick Start Guide and let’s get started on building your best self – together.

I believe in you; let me help YOU believe in you!

Click here to schedule a chat about your goals.

Click Here to Buy Me a Coffee (or bourbon)


Meet Coach Tony

I’m Coach Tony – coach, author, and project manager on a mission to build a world where no goal dies of loneliness.

For 40 years, I nearly let one of my biggest dreams slip away—not because I failed, but because I never even tried. Then, I took a leap, applied a simple, structured process, and not only achieved my goal but surpassed it.

That experience transformed my life, and I believe you can do the same.

Through Operation Melt, I provide engaging content and hands-on coaching designed to inspire, motivate, and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.

Let’s make sure your goals don’t die of loneliness. Let me help you start your transformation today!


Breathe new life into your goals

Download my free ebook to learn how to create goals that actually work and get the jump-start you need in life!

Published inAsk Coach Tony