Welcome to the Bonus Mile… where we go beyond the usual path.
These posts are the extra effort, the unexpected insights, and the conversations that don’t fit into the standard routine but still deserve the spotlight. Whether it’s an AI interview, an off-schedule deep dive, or something completely unexpected, the Bonus Mile is where the good stuff happens.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
Fun fact: sugar is the only word in the English language where an "SU-" makes a "SH" sound. I'm almost sure this is true.
Bonus Mile: The Self-Own That Almost Stayed a Secret
Surprise… coaches wrestle with the same mindset challenges as the people we coach
Do you need a minute to process that earth-shattering news?
This month’s Bonus Mile is my chance to wrap up our theme, the courage to be yourself, with a quick story about a recent self-own. It all started with a recent blog post, one that I almost second-guessed myself right out of publishing.
I caught myself wondering:
Was it really ok to be that honest?
Should I water it down?
Should I pull it completely?
In other words, I questioned whether it was ok to just be me.
Here’s the kicker… that thinking broke every single rule we’ve been talking about all month. We have been talking all August about the value of authenticity, not waiting for permission, and taking action instead of overthinking. And there I was, ignoring all of it.
So I am sharing this as a cautionary tale. Being yourself is hard. It is scary, especially when your authentic self does not line up neatly with what other people expect.
But courage is not about eliminating your fear. Courage is moving forward anyway.
So let’s rewind to that moment and see how it played out.
Way Back Machine
Let me take you way back to June…. I was writing my last Bonus Mile post.
I had decided I wanted to share a rant (albeit a meaningful one) about the 5 Goal-Crushing Phrases That Make Me Cringe. This was something that had been on my mind for quite some time, and I was being honest and real.
The post was written, edited, and I was happy with it.
I was about to click the “Schedule” button.
Then it happened.
I panicked.
All the second-guessing myself questions were running through my head:
What will people think?
Does the post make me sound like an asshole?
Do I sound ungrateful about well-intended feedback?
Should I change it?
Should I abandon it and write something else?
I sat with these thoughts for about ten minutes, and then I made a quick change to the post. That’s when I added a disclaimer to the post.
This wasn’t in my original draft. It wasn’t something I planned to say. But I panicked about being my unfiltered self and watered down my post.
Breaking All The Rules
All month, I’ve been sharing stories and strategies about the courage to be yourself. And here I was, breaking every single one of them.
In my interview with Alex, she shared one of her mantras about being vulnerable when publishing her book. Her mantra: “Just start. Put everything out there.”
I started strong following this best practice… but I pumped the brakes. I watered it down.
In my second post, I shared an unexpected lesson I learned about my tendency to joke too much and not take things seriously. As I considered toning things down, I was reminded that “my people” like my authentic self. I don’t need to back off just to make people happy.
Then, I backed off to make people happy.
My third post was about the dangers of seeking permission. I explained that “pausing to ask for permission can interrupt our momentum and cause us to second-guess ourselves.” This is one of the biggest goal-killers, and it’s also a reason we water ourselves down. This blog included an essential rule for success: the only permission that matters is your own. The only rules that matter are your rules.
What did I do? I backed down because I worried I was running afoul of someone else’s rules.
Finally, I talked about the dangers of over-planning and under-acting on your goals. Sometimes planning becomes PLANcrastination instead of just being a prudent step in the goal-setting process. It is a classic example of overthinking in action. The punchline of this post is that “becoming the person you want to be requires action… and planning isn’t doing.”
How did I apply this best practice? I overthought and overplanned what I was going to say.
Goal-Crushing: A Daily Commitment
Being yourself and crushing your goals takes courage. Overthinking, second-guessing, even watering down your voice… those things will happen. What matters is not letting them stop you.
Crushing your goals requires daily commitment and intentional actions. Autopilot isn’t going to get you there.
Something else that won’t get you there: willpower, motivational quotes, lists of best practices, and affirmations. While each of these things is important, they are just part of the puzzle and won’t get you to the finish line by themselves.
The secret to consistent, dependable and effective goal-crushing is systems. When you have a system, and you stick to it, the temporary second-guessing won’t sidetrack your goals. You can be a goal-crusher AND experience temporary self-doubt.
That’s exactly why I created Project Manage Your Life.
It’s a complete, proven system to help you:
- Get clear on your goals
- Build a plan that fits your real life
- Learn to adjust when things go sideways
- Speak to yourself like someone who believes in your success
Here’s how to get started:
📘 Grab the Free PMYL eBook
Get the full six-step process I use with coaching clients… yours free, no strings attached. Grab your free ebook here.
📝 Dive deeper with the PMYL Workbook
Packed with coaching tools, reflection exercises, and guided planning resources to help you do the real work. Available in paperback or interactive PDF. Get the workbook here.
💬 Work with Me 1:1
Ready for personal support, accountability, and someone to help you untangle the “I can’t” language in your head? I’ve got a limited number of coaching spots available. Let’s talk. Reach out to learn more.
Don’t trust your goals to chance, willpower, or motivation. Get my proven system and trust the process to help you overcome your temporary bouts of self-doubt without losing your momentum.
✨ I believe in you; let me help YOU believe in you! ✨
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success… one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
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Meet Coach Tony